halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'The Battle For Sigma Octanus Chapter 1 surprise attack'



Demosthenes
4:21 pm | March 8, 2003
I've only read the first part and I admit your description of the gore was quite detailed. Overall about a 7.9 of 10. You had a couple run on sentences in it.
jwtchoo
10:07 pm | February 9, 2003
great story 10 out of ten!!!!,
JT
Traumatised Marine
12:44 pm | February 7, 2003
8 out of 10, a solid story based on a fresh concept, u so cleva!
moniter101
10:34 pm | February 6, 2003
Thanx everyone for the comments.Wado I did that on every chapter so now I'll go back and fix them thanx for the tips.
Wado
7:16 pm | February 6, 2003
Well I had trouble reading it. Try making a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks.

Otherwise, nice job on the story. Keep it up.
moniter101
12:56 pm | February 6, 2003
Oops my bad. Yah I kinda rushed through this one.
Nike
12:40 pm | February 6, 2003
And the final score...*drum roll* 8/10.

Pros: Nice detail, names that I could not think of, and action.

Cons: You didn't put commas or periods on some parts like this sentence: "Anything Harrell" Smith asked.

It should be like this: "Anything Harrell?" Smith asked. This way, it makes it easier to read.

Second thing: Elites carry plasma rifles, not pistols.

But overall it was good. 8/10.
DIspraiser
3:35 am | February 6, 2003
I would agree with eight out of ten, though it might have gotten a 7.8 or something by me...
moniter101
3:31 am | February 6, 2003
Its a kool rating process.
Nike
2:23 am | February 6, 2003
This is how I'm going to rate fanfiction from now on.
moniter101
10:45 pm | February 5, 2003
Hey anyone who reads this story. It tells about what happened before the chapter in halo fallofreach Sigma Octanus. The first chapter jumps right into it. Its my first time subbmiting fan fic so please give me any pointers or anything that i should add in the future chapters. Enjoy!


bungie.org