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Comments for 'The Fall of Rye: Chapter 4: Death From Above' |
teemus
10:51 pm | March 30, 2004
Thanks for the posts guys, and dont worry, I wont kill off to many people. :P
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CoLd BlooDed
1:30 am | March 30, 2004
LOL, it seems your getting to know this place good, JJigg. :P
We should do a comedy story together. ;)
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JJiggssaw
12:00 am | March 30, 2004
I agree, dont kill of your characters toos oon. Flu has obviously learned a new language...
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Flu
1:59 am | March 29, 2004
Sorry I didn't look here before now. Good story, decent writing, but a litle short - and like Cold said, killing off your characters toos oon kills the characterization. Now for something fun, you could start off with one dead, and have his buddy describe how that feels.
Anyway, this has always been a pretty solid series.
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CoLd BlooDed
11:56 am | March 28, 2004
Alright, I've posted a new short story titled "The Breaking Point".
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Hell Starter
2:01 pm | March 27, 2004
Me, personally, loved it. I didn't see many mistakes throughout the story. Your grammer and spelling was very good. The story was great to. I think bubba shouldnt have died so soon, but hey, its all in the interest of the story.
Like on my story, i asked the other people that helped on it if they would consider letting their characters get killed, and their response was, with out all the crude words, Hell no!!!! So I was forced to kill mine off and get a new one. sad sad!
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CoLd BlooDed
12:22 pm | March 27, 2004
Sorry, teemus, whenever I get a new msn I'll be back to editing. :D
I'll read it in a few.
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CoLd BlooDed
12:22 pm | March 27, 2004
Good, I liked it, but what did I say about making it longer? :P
Your grammar has improved, definately, and I barely spotted any spelling mistakes. The only complaint I had was that, well, in my opinion, I thought you killed off Bubba too soon. I saw an opportunity for the two Helljumpers to develop a friendship, seeing as the other friend was killed.
But great job, and I'll be able to edit soon. :D
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FOrunnER
3:51 pm | March 26, 2004
Pretty good action story, however there should be some kind of really cool twist soon or a new angle so that the action dosn't get repetitive and boring.
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