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Comments for 'Hitting Home: Mocking Bird (Chapter 3)' |
KilltheMonitor
11:35 am | July 14, 2004
Jess, screw that spanish dick, and shifty i think this is the best story every(slightly better then 343saltybeans) I tried to replacate you to a point on a story of my own but it turned out to be shitty(o well)
damn good work son
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Jessi-Kins
11:51 am | July 10, 2004
He was here kinda often...his name was Tears Of Elyssium...he went under a few names...but, i don't quite remember what they are right now...
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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Nick Kang
10:37 am | July 10, 2004
Such a place exists?
Yeah, twinkie, it was probably the 1000-word story with almost no periods Wu was talking about.
NK
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CoLd BlooDed
1:46 am | July 10, 2004
Yeah, Jessica, but who was your brother (his name on HBO). LOL, maybe you ARE bad luck! :O
No, but he was entirely right. No arguments.
Twinkie, The Blue Monkey has probably been scrapped, Wu has very little tolerance for piece of shit stories these days.
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Severian
1:19 am | July 10, 2004
It's not that it hasn't come out, it's just that it's been rightfully scrapped. Dumbass. That goes to the rest of you. Yeah, you, spickboy.
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twinkie
12:47 am | July 10, 2004
Ya'll will love my story, The Blue Monkey! All of u hommies will like it.(It hasn't come out.)
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Jessi-Kins
12:43 am | July 10, 2004
Ahh, last year..my brother said that it was really peaceful here...he said there were little or no arguments at all...heh...I think i'm bad luck...
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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twinkie
12:41 am | July 10, 2004
Hey, come on! Wheres my pimpin story, The Blue Monkey? I've waited a long time....
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OpeningAct
7:12 pm | July 9, 2004
Is that giving you any inspiration?
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CoLd BlooDed
6:43 pm | July 9, 2004
Yeah, me too, 'Nosolee. I remembered when I could just sit down at this computer and not laugh at all the ridiculous flames that are now in the comments. 'Twas peaceful.
I'm also at the place where it all started for me on HBO! :D
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'Nosolee
5:00 pm | July 9, 2004
This is what the FF comments pages have turned into.
I really miss last year, when people were able to talk to other people, without causing wars.
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NightBlade
4:12 pm | July 9, 2004
crashedwarthog should go to hell that fucking bastard
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Black Titan
3:03 pm | July 9, 2004
Oh wait, in march the spanish surrendered to Al Qeada, so he does not work for them.
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Black Titan
2:58 pm | July 9, 2004
Hey Jess, dont let spanish spartan put you down. Giving up is what he wants. He probrably works for AL Qeada.
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Jessi-Kins
2:24 pm | July 9, 2004
Sorrie bout this Shifty....it seems that wherever i post, this spanish spartan SOB seems to Spam there...Maybe i should just stop posting or something...
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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Nick Kang
2:22 pm | July 9, 2004
Is that good?
NK
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Jessi-Kins
2:22 pm | July 9, 2004
I'm glad everybody's giving romac a second chance...everybody deserves a second chance, except spanish spartan...
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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Shifty
2:20 pm | July 9, 2004
I should just call this Hitting Home: When Spam Attacks... wow there sure is alot goin on here boys n girls... I'm not gunna get in the middle of any of this... whatever this is...
Anyways thanks all who responded, I'll see yall in 6 weeks...
Shifty
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twinkie
1:06 pm | July 9, 2004
nick kang, you are a punk hommie!
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Awacar
12:57 pm | July 9, 2004
If you call flaming people under a near anonymous name on a big internet site a proof of strength, your the strongest man in the world.
Wow you must feel good, asshole.
Wait... it does actually take some courage to come here and post despite being an idiot, and having got enough justified flames to create a new star.
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Rommel
12:39 pm | July 9, 2004
No you're not... I am.
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Pho
11:51 am | July 9, 2004
ANYWAYS, shifty, damn good story. i like how the main character is about to crack. this story gave a new perspective of a soldier's mind.
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GangstaPimpDaddy
11:44 am | July 9, 2004
No.
*GangstaPimpDaddy*
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spanish spartan
11:35 am | July 9, 2004
You are all very weak. I am the ultimate ruler of the site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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twinkie
11:27 am | July 9, 2004
Hey, any of my hommies want to AIM with me?
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Nick Kang
10:48 am | July 9, 2004
Double-you. Tee. Eff.
In the words of the bad guy from the movie Underworld,
"You're all acting like a pack of rabid DOGS!"
Spanish Spartan, go look at something shiny, it'll take your mind off the issues that you're having trouble with.
Let's all give romac a second chance here. :)
GPD, glad to see you're no longer an out-of-control psycho maniac. :P
Twinkie, unless you've changed like GPD, get off the site before you even say anything or impersonate anyone.
NK
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The NEW Zak
10:28 am | July 9, 2004
Oh, and to comment on your story. It was good, the singing to the elite part was a little freaky but it makes it different than the other stories here.
9/10
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Jessica
5:22 am | July 9, 2004
Xbox Live...hmm, what types of games do you like best? FPS, Sports, Racing, etc. For FRS...maybe MechAssault, iono, Sports, NBA Live 2004 or NHL version on Live, Racing should be Project Gotham Racing 2, Best.Racing.Game.Ever.
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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romac1991
4:41 am | July 9, 2004
Sorry to spam...but I need to ask a question.
I am about to buy Xbox live and my dad said I could get one game with it, what is the best game out there for Xbox live? Thanks, and sorry again for spamming.
romac1991
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Jessica
12:30 am | July 9, 2004
Yea, i guess. Three's enough..Sorry Phynix, but you can be the first person that reads our story or something...heh
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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NightBlade
9:47 pm | July 8, 2004
mine is Kobes Lawer
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Rommel
9:25 pm | July 8, 2004
Do u have an AIM adress? Mine is VampiricAura151
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NightBlade
8:51 pm | July 8, 2004
sure rommel
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Nightblade
8:51 pm | July 8, 2004
yea, lets do it
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DarkPhynix87
3:00 pm | July 8, 2004
heh, no prob, its alright, shifty gave me a story idea already. its about a medic. WEEEEEE!
but if u guys would like to chat via AIM or YIM, that would b cool, like, u guys could help me out with ideas and i could help u with urs, besides, its always nice making friends
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romac1991
12:09 pm | July 8, 2004
Hey jess,
I don't want to sound mean, but I think three people is enough. I mean I was only planning on doing a story with you...but...oh well.
romac1991
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romac1991
11:54 am | July 8, 2004
wait a sec, log on to yahoo chat, my computer isn't letting on AOL for some reason
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System Failure
11:49 am | July 8, 2004
sogn on to aim
-System-
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romac1991
11:42 am | July 8, 2004
romac1991
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System Failure
11:36 am | July 8, 2004
whats your AIM adress
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romac1991
11:20 am | July 8, 2004
I got it
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romac1991
11:20 am | July 8, 2004
Yeah, lets just IM
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Jessica
11:20 am | July 8, 2004
DarkPhynix, sure, um, get my email from romac or something, don't feel like giving it out on HBO...heh
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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System Failure
11:15 am | July 8, 2004
Why don't we just I.M. won't it be a lot easyer?
-System-
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System Failure
11:15 am | July 8, 2004
Why don't we just I.M. won't it be a lot easyer?
-System-
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Jessica
11:09 am | July 8, 2004
eeep, sry bout the double post...check again romac...
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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romac1991
11:04 am | July 8, 2004
I didn't get your email...
romac1991
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Jessica
11:00 am | July 8, 2004
Okya romac and Failure, i've e-mailed you guys...Pleeease dun spam my email..heh...
Jess
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Jessica
11:00 am | July 8, 2004
Okya romac and Failure, i've e-mailed you guys...Pleeease dun spam my email..heh...
Jess
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Rommel
6:02 am | July 8, 2004
Yo, NightBlade, do you wanna partner up and write the Riddick/Halo crossover?
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Rommel
5:36 am | July 8, 2004
Corrupt fools that like to talk a bunch of shit are invading the forum....
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Rommel
5:36 am | July 8, 2004
Corrupt fools that like to talk a bunch of shit are invading the forum....
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russ687
5:22 am | July 8, 2004
What's happening to HBO? :(
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CoLd BlooDed
4:19 am | July 8, 2004
Twinkie, where's the cream filling?
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romac1991
2:24 am | July 8, 2004
I think we have enough, but thanks for asking. Sorry ;)
romac1991
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romac1991
2:13 am | July 8, 2004
Oh.My.Fucking.God
romac1991
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twinkie
1:59 am | July 8, 2004
WASSUP my hommies! I'm back
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DarkPhynix87
1:26 am | July 8, 2004
o, jes, romac, and failure, mind if i join up on the story thing with u guys?
my AIM is DarkPhynix87, and my YIM (Yahoo) is Dragunmna03
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DarkPhynix87
1:10 am | July 8, 2004
WOW, shifty, really great story, like every1 else said, it was great the way u put the emotional sense into it, the whole Elite and singing thing. and its about time that the main character isnt a big badass, just a normal kid stuck in some war that he never wanted. o and shifty, when i finished the story, i really pictured him as a field medic, just because he seemed to be more attached to life at the end of the story, friend or foe.
10/10 man, it was awesome
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romac1991
12:45 am | July 8, 2004
It's not that easy Ajax, you just don't go out and buy one.
romac1991
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Ajax
12:34 am | July 8, 2004
Oh sorry bout that Shifty. This gets the record for most Spam ever, I guess.
Good story mate.
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Shifty
12:34 am | July 8, 2004
When spam attacks...
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Ajax
12:30 am | July 8, 2004
Well I went hunting and read all the comments pages that had romac1991 vs. the world. Pretty interesting. The page of one of his fics where he talks to himself was pretty funny. But now that I'm filled in on what I missed:
Romac: I know you've heard this already, but you need to chill out. You got way too pissed off too easily dude. Get a girlfriend, it makes life seem much better. Good luck on this co-op thingie you're doing with Jessica and Failure. Don't listen to jackass comments, but don't PMS when you get a complaint, mmm-kay?
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System Failure
12:21 am | July 8, 2004
hang on romac be there in a sec
-System-
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NightBlade
12:21 am | July 8, 2004
someone make a chronicles of riddick: escape from butcher bay/halo fiction
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Awacar
9:34 pm | July 7, 2004
Do you mean some idiot has taken your name and posted under it?
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spanish spartan
9:12 pm | July 7, 2004
A problem with the comment system is that you can use whatever name you want... see above
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Dispraiser
9:12 pm | July 7, 2004
See?
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Awacar
8:27 pm | July 7, 2004
fuck spanish spartan
hey spanish spartan, i mean spanked spartan, looks like that huge hunter has crushed your skull.
And, btw, get out of here, you low life, anything in your precense(sp?) is being covered in filth.
*Goes to get a shower*
GPD, remember those flame discussions you and I had back in the day? Quite fun, actually.
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Severian
7:15 pm | July 7, 2004
romac, I don't hate you- nor would I flame your stories just because you wrote them. I just don't like your GPD thing, mainly because of the things you did under that name last time you were here. But yeah, like CoLd said, you deserve a second chance, and if you did write a story with Jessica and it kicks ass, well, I'll be the first to applaud it.
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dave
7:05 pm | July 7, 2004
ok first of all, spanish spartan you just need to shut up and stop using the comments board to flame people.you have some serieous issues to work out.
once again good job shifty. while im not really a fan of first person, this is probably one of the best fanfics out there. keep up the good work.
-dave
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CoLd BlooDed
5:20 pm | July 7, 2004
Okay, everyone in here needs to calm down.
Shifty, great story, I love how you manage to capture all the thoughts, actions and beliefs of the characters in first person.
GangstaPimpDaddy, I'm glad you've come back a "changed" person, but you really set us all off by bursting out for no good reason as romac1991.
Severian, I believe we need to give romac/gangsta a second chance, I do believe we've been harsh on him, but he's been harsh on us too. So just calm down and let's give him another chance.
Spanish Spartan, get the fuck off this website and stop insulting people (including Jessica and Helljumper).
That's all I have to say.
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HoZ
5:04 pm | July 7, 2004
how bout it romac sev a fucking goat fucking hillbilly lol
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HoZ
5:04 pm | July 7, 2004
great story keep on writeing
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System Failure
4:53 pm | July 7, 2004
I just read the post that Spanish Spartan did the other day. Who the hell let this racist and woman hater keep posting?
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System Failure
4:48 pm | July 7, 2004
Hey I'll sign up for this outfit, Jessica and romac. But i need to warn you my mind has been messed up lately and my attension span is like ten minutes.
Oh yeah my email is haloknight2003@aol.com
it will change but thats it for now
-System-
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romac1991
12:41 pm | July 7, 2004
Well, I don't want to clutter up the comments page, but...what do you want to write about. I mean, I'm probaly not that good, and if I write a story with you, people will probaly poke fun at it...like...Severian. If your really serious maybe you should read my other stories, and if they are too bad, which they probaly are, then I'll understand. Well, I don't know if you want to give it out but, what's your e-mail. If you don't want to give it, that's okay, but here's mine:
romac1991@yahoo.com
I might need to get my confidence up, I've been kind sad from all the put downs lately...
romac1991
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Jessica
12:27 pm | July 7, 2004
Sure, i don't mind doing a series with you...Jeez, you guys really need to give romac a break...you were a bit hard on him with the critisism on his last story...btw romac, all this critisism helps, so you should listen to what people say...there are jackasses on HBO, like spanish spartan, but just ignore those people...
Jess
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romac1991
11:51 am | July 7, 2004
If you don't want to I guess its okay, everybody here doesn't seem to like me that much...
But if you do, thats great.
romac1991
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romac1991
11:49 am | July 7, 2004
I do.
romac1991
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Jessica
11:42 am | July 7, 2004
Oooh, btw, does anybody wanna write a series together? ^.^
Jess
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Jessica
11:36 am | July 7, 2004
Severian, was that comment directed to me?!
Jess
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Nick Kang
10:03 am | July 7, 2004
d00d
That was awesome! I love how you portrayed the emotions so well, and display his somewhat bloodthirsty lust even better!
NK
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B- Rad
7:39 am | July 7, 2004
Yes.
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CovieKilla
7:28 am | July 7, 2004
Wait....Is GangstaPimpDaddy, Romac1991 too?
" *Gangsta Pimp Daddy*
AKA
*Bonecrusher*
*romac1991*
*Jay Sugay* "
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B - Rad
7:15 am | July 7, 2004
Yes I'm quite aware of that.
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GangstaPimpDaddy
7:01 am | July 7, 2004
That’s a mothafuckin steroetype bitch
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Rommel
6:48 am | July 7, 2004
First of all great story. Loved the emotion and the action. The Elite scene would've made a dynamic cinmetic performance. Definately unique and not like all the other ones that go in this sort of pattern: Sargeant Johnson jumped out of a Pelican. The Pelican flew away. He had an MA5B assualt rifle. He killed 5000 grunts. More marines came. The dropship dropped off a Warthog. A marine manned the LAAG. A green armoured figure appeared out of nowhere, it looked like a SPARTAN. They all shit there pants with excitement. 10/10
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B - Rad
6:16 am | July 7, 2004
Wait a minute... black people play Halo? But there aren't corrupt streets, illegal drugs, prostitutes, explicit language, Cadillac Escalades, or rap music so why?
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GangstaPimpDaddy
4:06 am | July 7, 2004
What the fuck is your problem with me Severian? I aint causing any trouble, I actually commented on the story, damn, so what if I'm back, I ain't starting shit. And I try to help someone, and i get dissed by you fags. You know what, I wasn't causing ANY trouble, can't you just leave me the FUCK alone bitch. I mean Jesus Christ, No matter what I type, its always.."OH, I hope romac's not back." Well I was coming back to write stories, but you know what, if there are more ppl like you SeverianofUrth, then I guess this ISN'T such a great place. I mean I come back and try to be "polite" and I get dissed by this motherfucker. Damn. I came here and people said it's people like ME, who give this a bad name. My friend, I'm afraid its YOU Severian, who gives this place a bad name. You shun people when they come back changed people, I came back and tried to help someone, AND I commented on the story. But that doesn't satisfy you does it? You put me down everytime I show up. I left, and you said I had no potential. I come back, a changed person, and you diss me on the spot. Maybe YOU should leave too. All I know is that I have lost faith in this website and its people. I guess there is just no pleasing you, when I commented, I didn't cuss, I didn't cause trouble, I didn't start shit. YOU my friend, are a low quality human being. I was eager to write stories again, but I comment once, and get put down. Peace out, fo good.
The Genuine,
The Authentic,
The Ghetto,
THE 1
THE ONLY
*Gangsta Pimp Daddy*
AKA
*Bonecrusher*
*romac1991*
*Jay Sugay*
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Ajax
2:36 am | July 7, 2004
To Gangsta Pimp Daddy: It's kinda obvious you're white trying to be black. Really obvious. And it doesn't work. Word.
To spanish spartan: wtf is your problem? I don't know what kind of loser thinks that because a girl talks to you, she has a crush on you. Guess you don't have much of a life. And don't call her a ho.
To Jessica: Nice dis. I laughed when I read it.
Nice story.
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Severian
2:04 am | July 7, 2004
Where the hell did all these idiots come from? I hope romac isn't back... And same for the spick spartan. And same for the 'girl'.
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GangstaPimpDaddy
1:37 am | July 7, 2004
Oh yeah, tight story fa sho.
9/10 keep it up dawg
The Genuine,
The Authentic,
The Ghetto,
THE 1
THE ONLY
*Gangsta Pimp Daddy*
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GangstaPimpDaddy
1:33 am | July 7, 2004
Ey yo Spanish Spartan,
Why you gots ta diss that girl like dat? Didn't yo momma teach you some manners? You dumbass, you dont't call girls Hoes, unless they a slut, and I don't think dat Jess is a slut. Maybe she is, I don't know. But what I do know is dat you need to shut yo gay ass up fore I cap you motherfucker. Ya hurd? You respect the women folk, you hear me son? I don't ever want to talk to you again, bitch.
The Genuine,
The Authentic,
The Ghetto,
THE 1
THE ONLY
*Gangsta Pimp Daddy*
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Jessica
12:30 am | July 7, 2004
Jeez spanish spartan, what do you have against me...Sheesh, immature little shit-tard. Is it just because i'm a girl and you cant get one?
Jess
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吸う
9:16 pm | July 6, 2004
吸う
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Phoenix
7:30 pm | July 6, 2004
Great stuff. A lot of the fan fiction here is always about the battles and the head shots, and the explosions, and the guns...etc. That's all cool, but after a while each one of those stories isn't that much more different than the other. You have done a great job of keeping that exciting action, but adding an emotional element that many of the other fan fic writers don't use well.
As for the singing to the elite, I was very surprised at first, and kind of laughed to myself. But as I let it soak in, and really pictured the scene, it was very cinematic and worked extremely well. I could say this is one of the best fan fic's I've read.
Keep up the good writing, and hope to hear more from you soon.
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JCDenton
4:48 pm | July 6, 2004
I usually dont look at fanfictions though this one caught my attention even without knowing its content.
I must admit, you have made a great story. you have overcome many writer problems, like many fanfiction people have.
its only so hard to visualise it to people, so they picture a certain location into their minds and use their own imagination to follow the story.
again, good job.
9.8/10
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spanish spartan
3:57 am | July 6, 2004
fuck helljumper
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Helljumper
3:05 am | July 6, 2004
I like that, is the main character loosing it. Damn singing to a dieing Elite. Good post.
ODST
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spanish spartan
1:57 am | July 6, 2004
hey shifty, i mean shitty, looks like that ho jessica has a crush on you.
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Jessica
1:35 am | July 6, 2004
Oooh, and Shifty, would you mind if i sent you my story before i submitted it to HBO?
Jess
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Jessica
12:30 am | July 6, 2004
All i can say, is you make other people look bad...-.-"
Oh, and i keep reading your name as Shitty...
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343 Salty Beans
7:06 pm | July 5, 2004
A few spelling errors, but that was it. You really have a talent for first-person stories.
You also are great at decribing emotion.
343SB
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Shifty
6:32 pm | July 5, 2004
Sorry man... Time was short since I'm leaving for a 6 week vacation in the next couple of days and I didn't know if I could wait to post it... Thanks anyway...
Shifty
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CovieKilla
6:00 pm | July 5, 2004
I wished I knew this was up before I posted the whole effin' edited version up on HFS!!!!
Oh well, check it out even though this is up. I made it at least 10% better there. I liked this story too, some grammatical errors, otherwise very good and poetic.
7.5/10
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Severian
4:23 pm | July 5, 2004
I loved it. Simply loved it, although the singing part could have been less... sappy? cheesy? I don't know. Maybe I'm just emotionally dead, but I thought it was improbable that he would actually rub the elite's helmet as he sang to it... Still, lovely story.
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Shifty
3:12 pm | July 5, 2004
Thank you... I apreaciate it...
As you noticed I took a risk, being emotional towards an Elite... I'm glad that it turned out for the best for at least one person... I tried to make something original and something that I haven't seen before, and I'm glad you enjoyed the change... again thank you...
Shifty
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Spacefan
2:31 pm | July 5, 2004
All I can say is WOW! You have a gift for telling a story about a soldier too young to be a soldier, and a war that doesn't have to happen. Great story.
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