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Comments for 'Life of a Marine: part 2; Cranky When Tired' |
Rebel Shuttle
4:53 am | June 4, 2004
I should also point out the Warthog I was describing was the new varient that carried more troops.
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RageRR
10:24 pm | June 3, 2004
Awesome! Umm, combat would be nice, right now he has only fallen asleep on a Pelican and then walked a bit, rode in a Hog for a little bit, and then fell asleep in a bed. YAY!!!
Other than that, well done; I can tell that this will be a good series--- keep it up!
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Rebel Shuttle
9:07 pm | June 2, 2004
Thanks for reminder on how to indent Helljumper. And yes there will be combat next chapter.
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Rebel Shuttle
9:07 pm | June 2, 2004
Thanks for reminder on how to indent Helljumper. And yes there will be combat next chapter.
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Helljumper
8:56 pm | June 2, 2004
Yea wat russ said. It wasn't bad and i read the whole thing. couple of things. This Lieutenant was incharge of a squad, why?. Second Marine is always capitalized. Third use the code. [indent] thats for indenting. Fourth. A hog can not carry as many men as you said were in this squad. Fifth, seventh squad is too much. Squads are part of a platoon. Platoons have 3 to 4 squads so do u see why there isn't a seventh squad. It should have been, 674th Division, 3rd Battalion, Bravo company, 3rd platoon, 2nd squad, then if u want to go farther, Fireteam Rome or something like that.
ODST
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russ687
5:51 pm | June 2, 2004
Its kinda of good to set the tone to how your characers feel and what they've been through, but just make sure its actually leading up to something.
Very few mistakes.
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