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Comments for 'Last of a Dying Breed-Fierce Retaliation' |
Delta Force
9:53 pm | December 9, 2003
Can you clue me in... what in the name of GOD did that kid just say, whatever he said, it had nothing to do with any thing important. I was reading one of your comments about the MC being in so many stories, I guess its like putting Superman in a Superman comic, you know what I mean, but I see your point, and realize its better to include human accomplishments rather than a cyborgs AI Brain. Well, i thought the plot line was, ahhh, alright, and I am wanting to see the rest, for the great detail and such.
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hornet34
12:33 pm | December 9, 2003
Thank you, spammer. You have contributed absolutely nothing useful. I only commented on one character being "dark-skinned." The man from Louisanna could be any color, it was up to the reader to make their own mental image. I purposely did not say black because I believe in 500 years races will be so inter-mingled that it will be hard to differentiate between traditional races but by slight variations in skin color. All I did was use different dialects of English. I have done that for British accents in past stories. What, didn't read that one? Or you just don't care about the English, so you don't have to try to defend them.
Your comments on grammar make absolutely no sense.
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u suck
11:51 pm | December 8, 2003
dude...whats with you and black peoples accents? *i cant beweive dat blue sonofabitch killed me buddy get dat bastad* i really got annoyed by all that grammer i hated it. grammer has to be a factor in a story not just action..
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hornet34
2:06 am | December 8, 2003
I'm actually glad you mentioned that the storyline isn't anything special. Thats how I wanted it. Anyone can write about the destruction of Earth, there is plenty of material there. It takes true writing skill to make the small and ordinary seem impressive and extraordinary. At least I think so.
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BrutalArt
11:35 pm | December 6, 2003
Nicely written piece and liked the ralph joke. The storyline itself is nothing special, but your inclusion of finer details gives a more realistic feel than most stories. Keep the goods coming.
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hornet34
4:07 am | December 6, 2003
Thanks guys, I don't know how soon I can get the next piece in; Finals are next week and then I fly home, and when I get home me and my friends are going to pretty much incapacitate ourselves, if you know what I mean. But I'll try to squeeze the next one in, so keep an eye out.
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Mainevent
3:20 am | December 6, 2003
Very good, I love it.
I won't be submitting a piece for a while. A lot of projects now. But over christmas break...
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Walker
11:14 pm | December 5, 2003
A perfect score isn't good enough for this piece.
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Agent Shade
7:59 pm | December 5, 2003
grammar isn't a huge problem for me...the story was very enteraining, keep them coming, you are a good writer by the looks of it
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hornet34
6:13 pm | December 5, 2003
Good, I get to critique myself first again. I hope I did a good enough job of making this chapter entertaining as a stand-alone while still fitting into the whole series (This is part three, which I forgot to mention).
So far I've found five grammar errors total, but I don't think that's to bad considering I'm not using a spell check or a grammar check, just my own mad English skills. Well, stop reading my comment and tell me what you think!
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