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Comments for 'The Mind Chamber--Chapter One'



The Collector
11:21 pm | March 5, 2004
The only way for us to know what they would be talking is if Cortana was doing the actual translation. So for him to have the covies speak basic - term use for current language, cuz bungie had the game in English dont mean eveybody spoke it - It was a great attempt @ what could be a promising story if you add more detail, be more descriptive as to how we can understand the covies by having a li l asterisk (*) before they talk that way we know they aint talkin "Basic"

*Their fortifications are strong....

*translation

Is that so hard?!??!
The Collector
11:21 pm | March 5, 2004
The only way for us to know what they would be talking is if Cortana was doing the actual translation. So for him to have the covies speak basic - term use for current language, cuz bungie had the game in English dont mean eveybody spoke it - It was a great attempt @ what could be a promising story if you add more detail, be more descriptive as to how we can understand the covies by having a li l asterisk (*) before they talk that way we know they aint talkin "Basic"

*"Their fortifications are strong...."

*translation

Is that so hard?!??!
Mainevent
12:27 pm | March 4, 2004
Ya'll are remembering that the Covenant language we heard was "translated" into English. They were actually speaking "their" language at the time.
Whoever
10:16 pm | March 3, 2004
First of all i think you should take engilsh writing course ex. "blah blah blah said jonny Blah bLah blah" that the gayiest thing i've ever seen u have to do this "blah blah blah" said jonny "blah blah blah" take esl like the covenant.
Jenkins
6:02 pm | March 3, 2004
Your story lacked alot. For this kind of story you need to learn some background info. Your story seemed to lose my interest. I winced at the "beamed up" reference. Kind of trekky.

Dammit_Jenkens_Fire_Your_Weapon!!!
MC's Cousin
5:57 pm | March 3, 2004
Well...you see that's a funny story about why I didn't...ahhhhhh...
Actually it's a different situation. Your storylin was directly related to Halo 2 storyline. Something that we all know Bungie will cover and do much better on than all of us. This story took place after Earth fell as noted at the begining of the story. It does affect and have something to do with the storyline but not at the present. We haven't seen anything concerning this in previews or in books. That is why I didn't bash him for storyline problems. he came up with somethign original later in the future. Sure it might have been influenced by Halo present but it is written about somethign Halo far future. I hope you catch that distinction.

Signing Off


MCC
Helljumper
12:11 pm | March 3, 2004
hmmmm
Black Spartan
5:19 am | March 3, 2004
I agree with Tofu, you really need to read some more halo books that prophet spoke better english then me! But it's not to bad a story keep it up ;)

PS: Make sure MC kicks ass really soon I dont like seeing him in a cell!
ToFu
11:10 pm | March 2, 2004
Whoa, I'm guessing this Covenant took a Class In ESL (English Study Language). And I'm guessing they pass... Read some HALO Books, The Flood,for example. To understand more of the way they speak... Write on brother, Write on...

ToFu Signing off!
gamer02
7:57 pm | March 2, 2004
OK story. A little strange, the way these Covenant spoke, MC's Cousin is right about that.

One thing off-topic, though. Why would MC's Cousin bash me for explaining something in the prologue of my fanfic (HALO: Fellowship in Blood) that I supposedly should have let Bungie explain in HALO 2, but then you go and have Earth destroyed in your first sentence, and he can only comment on your form!?!

Sorry for ranting, but I don't like people who contradict themselves like that.
MC's Cousin
6:20 pm | March 2, 2004
You need to work on flow. And your understanding of the Covenant. They sounded not right to me. And it was too choppy and lacking of detail. I would read a few stories with good comments and try to work on your structure.

Signing Off


MCC


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