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Comments for 'Alternate Realities -Prologue-' |
Kaizen
8:42 pm | June 29, 2004
Wow... Good but, what the heck is with 1750 vs 2000??? This aint earth... teh covenant would never send that much. And remind me how the humans won again????????????????????????????????????????????
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Guardian
4:19 pm | June 28, 2004
thanks very much russ, appreciate the comments, yea i'll keep the numbers down for the next parts.
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russ687
6:21 am | June 28, 2004
Extremely well formatted, it was very easy to read (despite some confusing parts in the storyline). The only problem I have is the number of ships used in this battle.
Lets just say there were 1000 human ships lost at this battle for simplicity. Assuming that these ships are larger the the PoA, that would make it 1000 to 2000 men aboard each ship. Do the math, thats at least 1 million men gone just like that. Now unless this is a unique one-time big battle, there would not be enough humans to man these fleets. (I know that there are probably billions of humans at this time period, but not everyone joins the UNSC, maybe 10% tops, and if battles of this magnitude happen "often", the sheer number of losses would plundge the UNSC into the negatives....uh oh). The reason we can safely assume only 10% (tops) join the military is becasue we can look at todays world. How many people live in America, and how many people join our military? The ratios not 10:1, I'll tell you that right now. If it was we would have 27 million members in our military (try dividing that by 8 and you'll get a little closer to how many are really in the military today).
Also take into consideration that it takes years to build these ships, and there are only so many space yards that are equipped to build warship-class vessals in the human empire. Also take into consideration that there's porbably not enough Titanium to support building thousands of ships all the time (remember, titanium is used for many, many other things as well).
As for writing tips, its really lame when you say "100 ships fell here, another 350 over there. In the end, we lost a bazillion men..."
*dramatization*
Make the battles are more detailed. Show us how humans use their intellect to win, not sheer numbers. As far as the story line has been going in Halo, the UNSC is losing. Time for them to use their brains to win...
God, did I make this long enough (sorry if it is)? Your story is really good, except for that pet-peeve. Keep it coming.
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Guardian
1:46 am | June 28, 2004
Thanks Mainevent, for the comments.
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Mainevent
5:15 pm | June 27, 2004
I forgot to finish my comment. *oops*
But 1750 is a little bit large. Although the UNSC had 800 worlds colonized, with untold number of ships for each world.
So there is no doubt that the Covenant COULD amass that size fleet, even if highly unlikely.
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Mainevent
5:13 pm | June 27, 2004
The covenant had 500 ships ready to attack Earth in First Strike. A much larger one will follow as its replacement.
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Mastermind TH
2:09 am | June 27, 2004
BTW, Covenant ships would have entered normal space behind the super mac due to their precision jumps and would destroy them
BTW, Anyone noticed why human technology was so inferior in this HALO STORYLINE? According to news reports, we are near the Space Aged stuff and would soon be invented...
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Mastermind TH
2:09 am | June 27, 2004
BTW, Covenant ships would have entered normal space behind the super mac due to their precision jumps and would destroy them
BTW, Anyone noticed why human technology was so inferior in this HALO STORYLINE? According to news reports, we are near the Space Aged stuff and would soon be invented...
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Guardian
1:03 am | June 27, 2004
Thanks for all your comments and criticism, it will help me alot with writing my next part. and sorry if it was short.
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Young Gunna
7:28 pm | June 26, 2004
I thought that was WAY to many ships...
I think in the story he mentioned that they had stolen them or something and he was giving them a taste of their own medicine.
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343 Salty Beans
7:17 pm | June 26, 2004
Confusing, and with some mispelling and grammatical errors. Also, I don't think the UNSC has "photon torpedoes". And that's ALOT of ships. Large space engagements are around 300 ships-so, yeah.
343SB
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Young Gunna
5:02 pm | June 26, 2004
Hmmm, abit confusing, but good nonetheless... Looking forward to the next installment.
Also, that's alot of covenant and humans ships O.o
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