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Comments for 'Derailed Part 5' |
Dispraiser
9:14 pm | September 24, 2003
Heh, didn't notice you mispelled my name but i'm fine with it. So far the train has been unspokenly working from only the veterans of war (which on a planet with 250 years of near continual civil war adds up to be lots...) but they've just aobut run dry, so after this big running battle ends, expect to see him teach some about plasma weaponry, as well as human weaponry.
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Walker
8:36 pm | September 24, 2003
Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven were good. This kind of has a similar flavor, but it's more like Speed, just without Keanu Reeves. And that makes it all the better.
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Wado
7:08 pm | September 24, 2003
Cool, I'm like a "Seven Samurais" fan where the warriors teach the villagers how to fight. This last story of yours reminded me a bit of that but instead of making wooden spears, the thought of Covenant weapons came to mind.
Oh and sorry for mispelling your name Dispraiser.
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Wiley
11:24 am | September 24, 2003
I, also, have made my points, mainley the 'under seige 2' thing. So, I'm stuck summing this story up with a word and a grading.
Nice.
9.2/10
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Dispraiser
9:27 am | September 24, 2003
I make vague reference to every weapon being recycled. When soldiers are wounded civillians are handed the weapons, and in one of the parts (this one or the next) I mention one of the braver civillians actually running through the battlefield to get some weapons.
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Wado
5:29 am | September 24, 2003
Keep it up Dipraiser. Oh and might there not be some Covenant weapons lying about the crash site for the civilians to use?
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Dispraiser
1:59 am | September 24, 2003
About the length... I was gonna tack this onto the other reply but I forgot to. Anyways, the reason it was so short is because of the rhythm of this battle, and the sheer length. The next part is going to be pretty long and nothing but civilians and and Covenant dropping like flies as they get closer to Awwek, and within the lines of the Covenant horde waiting for the cruisers to help them destroy the city.
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Dispraiser
1:55 am | September 24, 2003
Heh, yeah, I think this is my shortest update ever. In reply to Walker, only about half of all the ODSTs in the squad ever show their true personalities to eachother. Screaming woudl be logical, but it was important to the reader perspective to make the covenant look dastardly and evil (invisible ambush is unfair) and the ODSTs be the brave defenders of the innocent. I think I should have made him scream some more....
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Ishkabibbl
1:48 am | September 24, 2003
Sorta short, but hey, why go for lenght when you can have um...uh...story strenght? Yeah...I'll let Alpha do the rhyming.
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Walker
1:37 am | September 24, 2003
Amazing, Dispraiser. Though if my leg were melted off I'd probably be screaming like sh!t. Or at least biting into my lip so hard that my chin was dripping with blood. Anyway, very good. "The fiery tongues of death licked the pilot" was a very good line... I hope to see more soon. Good luck.
Semper Fi
-Walker
PS: Has anyone noticed how ratings are very rare lately? Just thought I'd point it out. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems that way to me.
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Dispraiser
9:59 pm | September 23, 2003
Ending a series is for noobs. Even if no one reads this and everyone hates it, it will continue.
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monitor101
9:50 pm | September 23, 2003
This is a good series keep it up!
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Dispraiser
6:12 pm | September 23, 2003
Yeah, I found myself stuck in an odd situation. They have almost no munitions and only a handful of properly trained soldiers. I couldn't use standard details because the fight would either be unrealisticly enduring or making it far more detailed. I chose the later.
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hornet34
3:57 pm | September 23, 2003
Ah, first to comment. Well, I've been a fan of this series from the beginning, so I've made most of my major points. All I have to say is that I found this chapter much more descriptive than the previous few, which was nice. So, keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to more from you.
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