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Comments for 'Halo: The War of the Grunts (Part 1)' |
Someone who thinks this story sux
8:02 pm | April 7, 2004
I serioulsy think u need help. plasma rifle 'clips?' that would be one big bomb to be dropped on halo, even though it was destroyed. was it radioactive? how did only yhe grunts survive? this sucks big tiime!
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a concerned citizen
8:31 pm | April 3, 2004
id like to see some1 reload a plasma rifle and how did the only grints survive and (boy i say and alot) where is the plot and (there i go again) how did they load 4 warthogs onto 1 pelican ( the thrusters arent powerful enuf to carry over 24000 lbs [each warthog weighs 6000 lbs look it up] and would burn out and you couldn't fit them all) and is the climate hot or cold or what? I'm gonna be making my own fan fic pretty soon so i'm reading every1 elses stroies to get a concept of what i should do.
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Big Kitty
11:08 am | March 29, 2004
IM BACK! one more thing, while I was on the can reading my Halo strategy guide i noticed that the M41 LAAG Warthog turret's bullets are 12.7 by 99 mm rounds, not 50mm as you said while the MC ripped off the 50 mm chaingun. HA!
*PS that second to the last sentance did'nt make muck sense did it?
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Big Kitty
9:56 pm | March 28, 2004
well, I thimk im out of things to point out, bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Big Kitty
9:43 pm | March 28, 2004
IM SO SORRY, I meant plasma rifle clip... damn Im an ass
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Big Kitty
9:43 pm | March 28, 2004
how the hell does a Pelican Dropship drop of 4 Warthogs? The maximum capacity is one (cmiiw)
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Big Kitty
9:36 pm | March 28, 2004
What a piece of shit, no offense but this story is messed, there is NO such thing as a plasma rifle. and what the fuck kind of laser are you even talking about?
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Big Kitty
9:36 pm | March 28, 2004
it takes over seven needler rounds to create an explosion harmfull enough to destroy things around it. And its not you that sucks, its your fan fic that needs improving
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me
12:47 pm | February 24, 2004
ya i mean, this really is newbish, not to mention a gramatical nightmare. dude, have u even played beyond the first level, or even read the manual. i mean come on, plasma rifles don't even use "Clips", they use power cores, which "we currently do not understand how to recharge or replace" according to da manual. Second of all, this may be a matter of opinion, but is the scorpion best for running grunts over? it's kinda slow and easy to avoid. and grunt can just duck under a ghost 2. trust me. it's happened. u can even do it in multiplayer (Sticking plasmas under there so they dun't notice is fun). well that's all i've gots to say... maybe i'll go work on my own fan fic story.. maybe... if i find the energy to move... like that will ever happpen...
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Your Father!
12:45 pm | February 24, 2004
this sux ass...how newbish...
wheres the frags?
omg u need to work on ur halo boi!
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Nick Kang
5:53 pm | February 21, 2004
Well I must say you have a good plot...if not a bit too imaginitive...anyway your tenses are kinda screwed up and plasma rifles do not have clips. So have you even played Halo? Cause this story does kinda suck.
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the author
12:22 pm | February 20, 2004
IF ANY1 HERE THINK I SUCK! I'D LIKE 2 C U WRITE BETTER YOU UNCLE FUCKING MOFOS
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the author
12:20 pm | February 20, 2004
i read fall of reach. now where the fuck can i get the flood?
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Big Kitty
1:27 pm | February 8, 2004
Plasma rifle clips my ass... this shit isn't even worth reading
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Thoams Harper, sorry
12:24 pm | February 5, 2004
First Strike****
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Thomas Harper
12:20 pm | February 5, 2004
o and david u shouldnt snap at ur critics. [thats what someone said to me. LOL!] anywayz i think maybe u should play the game more and read the Firs Strike [kicks ass] and then im sure ur story will be as good as mine. lol. yea right. jk.
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Helljumper
7:43 am | February 5, 2004
Boo, didnt like
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CoLd BlooDed
11:59 pm | February 4, 2004
What do you mean by that?
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The Author
9:42 pm | February 4, 2004
How come Cold Blooded and JJifgSSaw are behind every story?
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The Author
9:42 pm | February 4, 2004
How come Cold Blooded and JJifgSSaw are behind every story?
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The Author
9:42 pm | February 4, 2004
How come Cold Blooded and JJifgSSaw are behind every story?
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CoLd BlooDed
3:54 pm | February 4, 2004
Thanks for the acknowledgement, JJiggssaw, I really appreciate it. :D
As for the story, you have a few things to work on, but it didn't neccessarily suck. Warthogs are destructible, don't believe me? Check "First Strike", but yes you do need to change your writing style.
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CoLd BlooDed
3:54 pm | February 4, 2004
You also have to change your tenses, that was a HUGE problem in this story.
"The Master Chief jumped on top of the Scorpion, the Grunt aims carefully at the MC."
It should be aimed, fix that and the story could be a little better.
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JJiggssaw
2:10 pm | February 4, 2004
Hey David I think you need to change your wiritng style. Read some really good fan fiction like "On a Pale Horse" or "Forced Betrayal" and see what you think. By HBO standards your grammar is great though ;). Anyway keep trying and put in some backround info from the story page and mabye re-introduce some old characters (GS anyone? It IS halo...). Which halo are we talking about anyway?
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Osama Your Mama
12:49 pm | February 4, 2004
If they are destructable in the game. That doesn't mean they aren't destructable at all.
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The author
12:45 pm | February 4, 2004
I like 2 c u write somethin better you SOB.
Not you thomas
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The Author
12:45 pm | February 4, 2004
First of all, they are not destructable in the game. You can always flip them back over. Second of all, the warthog took more damage first. And I like to see you write. You little Punk
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Thomas Harper
12:40 pm | February 4, 2004
sorry david but i have to agree with someone who says u sux. it really did and u dont need to be tellin me how to write a story when ive written three and i have halo and beaten it so many times it not even funny! plus my storys are 10x better thsn this!
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someone who says u sux
11:51 am | February 4, 2004
omfg this story freakin suxs dude ok first = there r no "clips" for plasma rifles second = warthogs arent destuctible (in the game anyway) especially by a charged up plasma pistol to tell the truth i dont think uve even played halo to creat a story like this
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