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Comments for 'Fire Team Echo: Darkest Hours: Chapter I' |
V
3:45 pm | May 17, 2004
Nice work, keep it up.
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CoLd BlooDed
12:27 am | May 14, 2004
It's not ours, it's mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine!
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Nick Kang
12:14 am | May 14, 2004
Once I found HBO, I had no idea FanFic sites even existed. I thought I had died and gone to heaven!
And Darkest, welcome to our little writing community.
NK
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CoLd BlooDed
4:59 am | May 13, 2004
Well, welcome to HBO! :)
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Darkest90
3:47 am | May 13, 2004
This is a great community of writers, I have noticed. Even though this is not my story, you guys have made great comments and suggestions to Dark-Nite's story. This is exceptional to other writing sites.
Good job guys, I feel... comfortable here.
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Dark-NiTe
8:47 pm | May 12, 2004
Hunter_Killer! Havent seen you in a while. Thanks a lot man.
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Hunter_Killer
12:09 am | May 12, 2004
As I see it, an amazing amount of detail.
I assume this is the same time or slightly after Fire-Team Jacob Keyes uncovers the "Weapons Cache" of the Covenant?
Amazing potential, I haven't seen this kind of writing in a while. Extrodinary.
Keep it up, man! =)
- Hunter_Killer
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Andre 3000
10:42 pm | May 10, 2004
Great job. I really enkoyed reading it. Great action, great detail, and a great story.
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Helljumper
1:26 am | May 10, 2004
That was some great description of combat. keep it up
ODST
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Gordi
10:03 pm | May 9, 2004
" 'I,' before 'e,' except after 'c,' and in words like 'neighbor,' and 'weigh.' Other than that, not too shabby.
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Dark-NiTe
9:16 pm | May 9, 2004
Wow..thanks a lot. That kinda scares me though...
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ø
9:12 pm | May 9, 2004
You are God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(i mean this not in a literal way, don't want to affend anyone out there)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ø
9:12 pm | May 9, 2004
You are God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(i mean this not in a literal way, don't want to affend anyone out there)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ø
9:12 pm | May 9, 2004
You are God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(i mean this not in a literal way, don't want to affend anyone out there)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fat-Mofo
9:09 pm | May 9, 2004
Great job, i personally think your one of the better writers on this sight. I read all your previous storys in one day, and enjoyed them all =). You have talent.
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Fat-Mofo
9:09 pm | May 9, 2004
Great job, i personally think your one of the better writers on this sight. I read all your previous storys in one day, and enjoyed them all =). You have talent.
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Dark-NiTe
9:00 pm | May 9, 2004
The series will consist of 8 parts so i assure you there's a lot left to happen. :)
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CoLd BlooDed
8:56 pm | May 9, 2004
That was awesome, Dark, really, really good.
The dialogue was pretty realistic, the grammar was great along with the formatting. You've really outdone yourself.
I think it was cool when Varrick blew the Elite up with its on grenade. Kindof made you think whether the mighty Covenant soldier underestimated the talent of a weaker Marine...
I trust you won't mess up with this series, and I wouldn't mind if some of the Fire Team were killed. It'd be surprising if you killed one of the characters off unexpectedly, keyword there: "unexpectedly". ;)
Anyhow, keep it up, lovin' it already.
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Dark-NiTe
8:54 pm | May 9, 2004
Whoa man...Thanks a lot...I wasn't expecting that.
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Papa-Dock
8:49 pm | May 9, 2004
Omg dude this story was so freaking sweet...it changed my life...honestly
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Darkest90
8:38 pm | May 9, 2004
What will this be about, I wonder?
Very good writing, by the way. Keep it up, there are too many out there that just pour out their first draft, but this has the look of being edited quite a bit.
Don't let your characters get too overpowerful. Remember that most marines don't know how to use Covenant weapons, even a simple grenade. Furthermore, a common Elite could beat the crap out of a common Human Marine in a hand-to-hand battle, even if that Marine did know where the grenades were and hwo to use them. This suggests that Varrick (that was his name right?) is a very talented soldier. Don't make all of your soldiers doing this.
Also remember to show some weaknesses and defeats in your stories, too. Don't be afraid to show them. Some of the best stories aren't afraid to give there characters a long string of defeats.
By the way, is every team a Fire-Team? Are there other organizations in the marines? I am writing a story too, so I would like to know.
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Keyes
7:37 pm | May 9, 2004
Cool. Very good. I can't wait for #2.
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