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Comments for 'marines nightmare part 1'



A Fan
12:25 am | June 25, 2004
I really like your story. Please update soon!
The Silver Spartan
11:55 pm | February 21, 2004
Well now that you guys have all succeded in scareing this poor dude out of wrighting ever again, I guess we won't have to worry about his wrighting style anymore.
The Silver Spartan
11:55 pm | February 21, 2004
Well now that you guys have all succeded in scareing this poor dude out of wrighting ever again, I guess we won't have to worry about his wrighting style anymore. :P
SOS.Odin
9:56 pm | February 18, 2004
*sniff* this story got more comments than any of mine ever did :(
Guy in the Hole
3:20 pm | February 16, 2004
I will be honest and say that this story could be good. To see how that marine got that way. But putting him on MC's pod doesn't work. Have him come down with some normal marines.

OH NO!

Back in the Hole!
Nick Kang
2:30 pm | February 16, 2004
The periods without spaces after them really gets you tied up. And the lack of capitalization after those periods makes you think that the period is just a typo that you accidentally put there.
CoLd BlooDed
12:38 pm | February 16, 2004
It HAD dude...
Walker
4:18 am | February 16, 2004
I don't understand how you can expect people to read your story if you don't even bother to capitalize your title. Good day to you.
Alpha Lance
2:10 am | February 16, 2004
Duuddddeee..... I'm so mean.
Mastergrunt
11:15 pm | February 15, 2004
Nice story. It has some real potential. I always wondered what would happen to that crazed marine.
CoLd BlooDed
10:34 pm | February 15, 2004
Probably bashing his ahead against the monitor...
Traumatised Marine
4:41 pm | February 15, 2004
You're either too young to be playing a game like Halo or you wrote this while someone was bashing your head in with the computer monitor.

Seeming as you can't even be bothered to check you've put CAPITAL LETTERS at the start of sentances I'm surprised you bothered writing this at all.
CoLd BlooDed
12:45 pm | February 15, 2004
The only nightmare here is your writing! Muahaha...I'm so bad. :P
FOrunnER
12:13 pm | February 15, 2004
Yeah, capitalize and use the code. Im one of the nicer guys here so I wont bash you, but it did make the story a little harder to read. Also more detail. Lots and lots of detail. Make it so detailed we drown in DETAIL!!! I'm just kidding, but add a little detail to it

Oh, and the Sarg's name is Seargent Avery Johnson, not Mc. Coy. I strongly suggest read the Halo books or reading some more stories around here before you post the next one so you can learn from other ppl.
Alpha Lance
7:57 am | February 15, 2004
Fxck being nice. Nice people always end up getting used and step on. Psst... this story isss... psh... =P
Awacar
7:48 am | February 15, 2004
It's very, VERY hard to read this story, I tried a few minutes ago, but it felt like my eyes froze when I tried.

Must be the structure, lack of spaces, capitaization and something else that is very special for this story(though I don't know that that is yet).
CoLd Blooded
5:44 am | February 15, 2004
People shouldn't be 'nice' critics when commenting on stories like this; this is my opinion, you may agree or not but...well...you know.
EliteFoe
4:03 am | February 15, 2004
Good story, bad writing. The END.
GLADIATRRR3000
3:24 am | February 15, 2004
here's another example of a great idea that was poorly executed. if you had taken more time writing, learned the code (*cough*indent*cough*), and capitalized the beginning of the sentence, it could have been good.
but seriously. when do we learn to capitalize letters, people? in kindergarten?
MC's Cousin
1:32 am | February 15, 2004
Ah...well I don't say this often but...YOUR WRITING STYLE SUCKS! How much f'in effort does it take to actualy use the space bar between sentenses. And, not to mention the fact it was a single huge paragraph. Man, youm ake me mad (not good)! But I do have good news! I Just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!

Now that that is out of my system i will be serous. Use caps and spaces after sentenses please. Add detail, please. And for the love of God and all things holy about Halo. Use defined grammar and paragraph structure. By the way, I'm big on Halo story stuff. You will find this out. EVERYONE besides the wonderful MC died in the landing on Halo (in MC's Bumblebee). And i'm pretty damn sure that Cortana would have picked up ANY life signs. Nice try though. Tyr HARDER. MUCH harder.

Signing Off

MCC
Nick Kang
9:09 pm | February 14, 2004
Yeah you really should capitalize...but anyway good work on it.
Nick Kang
9:09 pm | February 14, 2004
Yeah you really should capitalize...but anyway good work on it. And two spaces are after each period.
CoLd BlooDed
7:29 pm | February 14, 2004
Lol Shade, that's true, but Jamirus doesn't read stories that don't capatilize the title. I don't think...
Agent Shade
6:13 pm | February 14, 2004
those comments are the nice ones, just wait till people like Hawk, Jamirus or Dispraiser read this...
Alpha Lance
5:57 pm | February 14, 2004
Here is some advice, don't write again...
CoLd BlooDed
5:08 pm | February 14, 2004
How old are you, anyways? I can't believe you forgot to capatilize at the beginning of the sentence. But it could've been a good storyline, fix up all the grammar and spelling errors. Also, when the title isn't capatilized, I usually think that the story is going to lack lots of quality.

At least it wasn't one big paragraph.


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