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Comments for 'The Battle of Damasu VII part 1' |
BansheeBoy
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Arrrrghh! My eyes!
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Wiley
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
The block of text is so s7ylishly unreadable.
1/10
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Black Titan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
This was my first one, so be nice. Tell me anything i can do to improve. i know i need it.
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Helljumper
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
First of all don't write about my ODST in your first post. Second, 75 Helljumpers is on a team, its not a squad, its not even a platoon. 75 is such a random number. Please don't continue this story. Try writing bout regular Marines first, read the 3 Halo books, before even thinking bout writing about ODST. Don't Continue
ODST
damn noobies
use the code
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black titan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
For your information, i have read the three halo books, each one two times. I dont give a damn if you like the series or not, it wil continue. So shut your face helljumper.
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Helljumper
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Listen hear bitch, don't get mad at me because you're fucking story sucks horse cock.
ODST
Fuck u and you're shitty ass story
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romac1991
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Dont call him that helljumper. Your making your self look bad. Plus its not that mature. And who gives you the right to tell him not to write about "your" ODST. His story, not yours.
romac1991
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Spainish spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Helljumper, youve been writting stories for so long, I think our head has grown bigger than your mom's fat ass.
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Helljumper
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Its not her fault her ass is so big. :(
All I'm saying is that I don't believe that he is ready to tackle the delicate subject of the ODST. I don't believe he'll do honor to them. Its evident from this story that he has not mastered the skill of writing. If he wrote bout some regular Marines, listen to some advice, like mine, learn the code, maybe a full series later he'll be ready to do justice to the ODST. But he isn't there yet.
ODST
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Spanish spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
helljumper, your mom sucks horse cock. Then she bent over and sucked my big one.
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Black Titan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
OKAY OKAY. Ill cut the damn series short, just one more story and the series is over. But i will be writting a lot more singles, and ill remember the code. ILL BE BACK!!!! WITH A VENGENCE!!!!
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MC's Cousin
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Seeing as Helljumper is the only respectable one in here, I am inclined to agree with him.
It takes more than the average Joe to write about ODSTs. They have a particular attitude/thinking process and act a certain way.
As for reading the books two times...let me count...oh that's right, six. You can't read the books enough. And you can't always rely on your memory of the books either. They make great reference material in a story.
And if you wan't to continue writing here, you must restrain yourself from such outbursts. If you want to better yourself in writing, you have to take the critisizm from us readers. If you don't like what we say, that's just too damn bad!
As for Helljumper there: *MCC looks in the other direction*
Black Titan may ask why I don't care that Helljumper gave yo ua dose of what he needed. Well here's the reason: There are so many n00bs popping up here lately, that the Vets of HBO FF must keep a little control over the grounds.
If your a mew writer, you need to make your stuff good if you want to have a future here.
Phew, another long winded post...
Signing Off
MCC
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MC's Cousin
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Oops, Wiley is respectable enough to mention too.
Signing Off
MCC
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Helljumper
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
thanx MMC. good to know u have my back
ODST
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MC's Cousin
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
*MCC tilts his head, arching his left eyebrow, and nods; holding the position for a second before looking back up, all the while letting a light grin show*
Whoa, where did that come from?
Signing Off
MCC
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343 Salty Beans
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
I agree with Helljumper, but not in such harsh terms. MCC, Helljumper may be a regular, but his vulgarities aren't exactly respectable.
No offense, HJ. To each their own.
But seriously, proofread, read the FF guidelines before you submit, and remember your 3rd grade English lessons.
If you miss everything (Code, Format, Grammar, spelling, punctuation, and persona are the things I bug most people about) I look at, you should probably write more carefully.
Not something I can stand to look at.
343SB
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Helljumper
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
343 is right, i won't apologize for what i wrote, i stand by it, but i could have gone about it in a different way. I was in a bad mood adn then this noob comes in here like he knows what he's doing and remember he is messing with my ODST. But I could and should have gone bout it in a different manner. Thats all i have to say bout that.
ODST
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Spanish spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
The story was bad, but helljumper, Mcc, wiley, bansheeboy can ALL go to hell. rot in hell. rot in hell. rot in hell. rot in hell. I declare a jihad on that stank fag helljumper.
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Helljumper
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
What, if you say the story is bad why you on my dick. Please dismount. Why everyone getting on me?
you can declare jihad on my left nut bitch.
ODST
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Spanish spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
I am serious you little fag. Don't you play. If i declare jihad on your nuts, they'll be gone. What type of name is helljumper? The only hell u have ever jumped into is your worthless life. Have you even been in the real military? Thought so mother f#@%$*!
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spanish spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
" Look at me i'm helljumper, i'm too soft to take the heat. why is everybody hurting my feelings. I want to eat a brownie and be happy."
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spanish spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
GOD DAMN 343 Salty Beans TOO. HIS NAME IS GAY!!!!!!! HE IS A FAG. A FAG. A FAG. A FAG. JUST LIKE HELLJUPER.
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MC's Cousin
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Hey now. Here's a wonderful idea for you. spanish spartan: shut your damn yapper. That's blunt, short, and to the point.
Wow, by spitting out that up-front crap, you succesefully demonstrated that your are an immature creaton who doesn't need to be here, dissing people who know what they're doing.
And I'm sure the System Administrator will love the email I sent him a few minutes ago about this junk you keep spilling.
Hmm?
Signing Off
MCC
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Black Titan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
All I want is advice. Spanish spartan, cool it down a little.
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Spanish Spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
MCC IS a snitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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spanish spartan
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
HEY MCC, SUCK MY d***. F*** you. you are a P***y
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