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Comments for 'End Game: Chapter One' |
Traumatised Marine
10:51 am | April 8, 2003
...I'm not telling you if you're right or wrong. I know it's not a Bungie-sized secret, but the plot twists would probably be fresher if kept quiet.
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gruntkiller
7:01 pm | April 7, 2003
so your telling us TM that the brutus is gonna turn against humanity Et tu brutus was what ceaser said (well at least in the sheakspeare piece) as brutus (ceasers long loyal friend) stabbed him along with all the other senate members.
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James Kinsella
6:43 pm | April 7, 2003
kinda*
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James Kinsella
6:36 pm | April 7, 2003
"We have a target lock for the main bridge of the lead craft."
The Covenant have their bridge somewhere in the middle of the ship so thats kida impossible unless you know exactly where it is.
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Dispraiser
1:10 am | April 7, 2003
Just when I thought redfaction stopped appeasing... But in any case, I read all of it and was... Bored as hell... I would give it a five out of ten but that would translate to an E, and this is far from the worse fanfic I have ever read, but still... C-
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Sarge
12:12 am | April 7, 2003
Okay well I didn't like it here's why...
I'm halfway through the story bored as hell forcing myself to read it. Face it its too typical same old same old I'd like something new for a change. I stopped about 3/4 of the way through i wasn't very caught up in the story.
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Sarge
12:12 am | April 7, 2003
Let me some that up...
Boring
Predictable
Same old Same old,
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Anthony Coronado
2:47 pm | April 5, 2003
I knew that... I just forgot to put it...And about the system thing too, I knew that also, just couldn't find the right word...
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Traumatsied Marine
12:18 pm | April 5, 2003
(Has a bemused look around)
Zuh? When did I give the impression I'm an Action lover? I actually prefer witty, fluent dialogue and poetic descriotions. Although of course good action scenes are always... well; good.
Anyway, my 'The Tour' series should be testimony to that; plenty of plausible scientific theory and not a bullet in sight!
Although I did enjoy the warship fighting, so don't worry, your brilliant writing was not squandered!
PS:
Got a new series on its way, so to those who are wondering who or what the hell 'Brutus' is- the answers are coming!
Here's a hint: 'Et tu, Brutus?'
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Dirty Commie
4:46 am | April 5, 2003
Not bad...
FORMATTING! [indent]!!!!
Also, a few things caught my eye, but didn't glare: It's traditional to italicize ship names ( [i] and [/i] )
The saturn system? A system would be a sun and its satellites, saturn sector or something would be more appropriate.
Are titan and rhea habitable moons? if so, props!
if not, ummm....anti-props.
I love capital ship combat.
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Shadow Spartan
3:57 am | April 5, 2003
yo sup man? im impressed, this is great, who does that monitor guy think he is? great story
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Anthony Coronado
1:24 am | April 5, 2003
Yea, for a while, after I bought my copy of Ghost Recon, I kinda drifted out of the Halo-verse. Then, after I quit wrestling this winter, and some LANing with some of my buds, I have decided to make a comeback.
And, yes, I did kinda "stop" as you put it...I imagine I have been here since...aw, hell, I wont even guess!
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TheRedFaction
12:57 am | April 5, 2003
BRILLIANT!!!! It was easier to follow after that prologue. Very descriptive.
By the way, Coronado, how long have you been here? Monitor's been here for a while now. Did you just sorta...stop? You know, stop writing? Cause this is the first I've ever seen from you.
Anyway, I'll go back and check the pages. Maybe I'll find something...Great job! Waiting for more.
TheRedFaction
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Anthony Coronado
10:28 pm | April 4, 2003
:cough: excuse me, what did you call me?
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Anthony Coronado
10:28 pm | April 4, 2003
:cough: Excuse me, what did you call me? You obviously don't know who I am newbie...
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Anthony Coronado
10:28 pm | April 4, 2003
Also, Traumatised Marine, if you read this, I hope it was action-packed enough :)
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monitor101
9:52 pm | April 4, 2003
More shitty fan fics coming in and more authors if you want to post halo storys go to fanfiction.net I couldn't follw it.
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Steele
8:56 pm | April 4, 2003
Wasn't bad. It was only one of the few I've seen with Capital ship combat. I enjoy capital ship combat. I'm working on one myself.
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