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Comments for 'Scope (Chapter 2, All Hell is Released)' |
Sage Scorpion
2:23 am | February 25, 2004
Uh, yeah, the indent "problem" isn't really that big of a problem. The biggest problem is the dialogue. You have a good story, and the conversations aren't bad, but you need to start spacing out your quotations better. Every piece of dialogue becomes it's own paragraph. For example:
"Hey Bob, what's up?" he asked.
"Not much, Dave," was the response.
See? Not hard at all. The new paragraph of dialogue doesn't have to contain all talking, you could have some narration in as well, but there can only be ONE person speaking in each paragraph. For example:
He picked up the gun and loaded it, making sure the safety was on. "I'll be ready for anything now, Bob!" he exclaimed.
"You sure will, Dave. Hand me another clip," Dave replied, chuckling.
Once you fix that problem, I'll finally be able to enjoy your entire story without a bottle of Excedrin. Thanks.
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MC's Cousin
10:00 pm | February 23, 2004
Ditto. The story itself was alright in length but bits and pieces just flew by without much detail or chance to get into them. It's getting good though.
Signing Off
MCC
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Helljumper
6:47 am | February 23, 2004
It was ok, u need more details. I undetstand that it was an action scene and u wanted things to read fast. Give details to the characters so we can get an idea of wat they look like and stuff like that. Keep it up.
First to rise, last to fall
Helljumpers do it all
Feet first into Hell
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The Silver Spartan
9:44 pm | February 22, 2004
Whoops! I thought I fixed the indent problem!
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