halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'The Atlas Incursion Pt.1'



Dave Luck
1:06 am | July 10, 2004
Ahh... Problem with me.

I don't proofread comments. Whoops.

As for hash... eww... I mean, who'd want to eat barf in a can? Fried Hash browns are good, though.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE WRAPPED IN BACON AND FRIED IN BUTTER!

- Dave.
Nick Kang
12:50 pm | July 9, 2004
Mmmm...Hash browns...

Yeah, what Dave said.

NK
romac1991
10:39 am | July 9, 2004
No, it doesn't sound too "Hash", Dave. :)

romac1991
Dave Luck
8:06 pm | July 8, 2004
Woah, how did my three different comments only appear now? That's strange.
Dave Luck
7:26 pm | July 8, 2004
The code... The code... THE CODE!!!!

There are many missing punctuation marks, the story is choppy and doesn't flow smoothly.

Lacking, somehow.

- Dave Luck
Dave Luck
7:26 pm | July 8, 2004
This Story was brought to you by....

Kitchen-Aid's Clothes-Washing machines!

If we rip it to shreds, it's as good as new! (Because you'll have to get a replacement)

----------------------------------------------

These product endorsements get weird from time to time.

Anyhow, I am going to rip this to shreds!

How the hell do you do this?

Grammar
- No attempt at proper grammar whatsoever.

Spelling
- Shabby

Language set
- Colloquial. Expected of n00bs. Attempts at artful, high-level language pathetic, as always.

Overall excitement
- Boring.

Comments:
You're defacing the language. Get this crap out of my sight.

I've gotten back at n00bs after some various n00b stories made me sappy and soft on grammar. If this seems harsh, well, get with the program.

READ THE DAMN GUIDELINES!!

Sheesh.

- Dave.
Dave Luck
7:26 pm | July 8, 2004
This story was brought to you by:

Kitchen-aid's Washing Machines!

If we tear it to shreds, then it's good as new!
(Because you'll have to get a replacement)

-------------------------------------------

I am going to rip this crap to shreds!

If this seems hash, then good. You need a lesson, pal. I'm really fed up at having this section overrun with useless disk-space-wasters.

Get out of my sight.

- Dave.
Jessica
11:40 am | July 7, 2004
Whoa, did you type that out in Notepad or something? It's really wierd...

Jess
Helljumper
2:56 am | July 6, 2004
Whats up with the formating. Makes it hard to read

ODST
russ687
6:36 pm | July 5, 2004
I didn't read the whole thing; without the code it is too hard to read.

So a suggestion for your next story...

USE THE CODE!


bungie.org