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Comments for 'Killing blow' |
Mainevent
6:44 pm | January 10, 2004
Read other fanfics first.
And if you want a backstory to Halo, read Witelancer's A Conclusive History of the United Nations Space Command.
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Inept Zombie
2:12 am | January 8, 2004
You need to work on grammar and the code, but otherwise you have a good writing style. GJ.
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Inept Zombie
2:12 am | January 8, 2004
You need to work on grammar and the code, but otherwise you have a good writing style. GJ.
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newboob
4:05 pm | January 6, 2004
Goddamn it!!!! It does a double post every damn time!!!
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newboob
4:05 pm | January 6, 2004
Goddamn it!!!! It does a double post every damn time!!!
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newboob
3:51 pm | January 6, 2004
Crap. Sorry about that double post, my browser is pretty fucked up,
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newboob
3:51 pm | January 6, 2004
Crap. Sorry about that double post, my browser is pretty fucked up,
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newboob
2:19 pm | January 6, 2004
Um, which three "highly educated people" did you get to proofread this story? Lemme guess... your dog, your teddy bear, and your brother with Downs Syndrome... Well, that's what it looks like at least. And you must be a n00b to Halo, because you put some stuff in there that never happened. Mainly the part where you said that the Marines in the story were heading to Halo to fight the Covenant. First of all, the only reason that Halo 04 was discovered was because the Pillar of Autumn made a blind jump away from Reach after it's destruction. They didn't even have a clue where they were, so HOW IN THE HELL COULD MARINES HAVE GONE THERE!?!?!?
Second of all, the grammar, punctuation, and spelling was horrible. You must be one dumbass kid. Okay, that was harsh, but you kinda deserve it. I'm not calling you a dumbass cause the story was badly written. I'm calling you a dumbass for defending yourself after people have pointed out your mistakes by way of constructive criticism. It was bad. Concept: bad, writing: bad, and mechanics: bad. You must be failing your English 8 class, and you don't know shit about Halo, and then you decide to write a bad fanfic, AND THEN, you defend yourself when people critique it. I want the 3 minutes of my life back that it took me to read this shitty excuse for the English Language.
And one more thing... Alpha Lance, you're kinda wrong with the whole "Start a new sentence for a new character to speak" thing. You're actually supposed to start a new paragraph, even if it's only...
"Hi", he said
"Hey", she said.
But other than that, I agree with you, Alpha Lance.
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newboob
2:19 pm | January 6, 2004
Um, which three "highly educated people" did you get to proofread this story? Lemme guess... your dog, your teddy bear, and your brother with Downs Syndrome... Well, that's what it looks like at least. And you must be a n00b to Halo, because you put some stuff in there that never happened. Mainly the part where you said that the Marines in the story were heading to Halo to fight the Covenant. First of all, the only reason that Halo 04 was discovered was because the Pillar of Autumn made a blind jump away from Reach after it's destruction. They didn't even have a clue where they were, so HOW IN THE HELL COULD MARINES HAVE GONE THERE!?!?!?
Second of all, the grammar, punctuation, and spelling was horrible. You must be one dumbass kid. Okay, that was harsh, but you kinda deserve it. I'm not calling you a dumbass cause the story was badly written. I'm calling you a dumbass for defending yourself after people have pointed out your mistakes by way of constructive criticism. It was bad. Concept: bad, writing: bad, and mechanics: bad. You must be failing your English 8 class, and you don't know shit about Halo, and then you decide to write a bad fanfic, AND THEN, you defend yourself when people critique it. I want the 3 minutes of my life back that it took me to read this shitty excuse for the English Language.
And one more thing... Alpha Lance, you're kinda wrong with the whole "Start a new sentence for a new character to speak" thing. You're actually supposed to start a new paragraph, even if it's only...
"Hi", he said
"Hey", she said.
But other than that, I agree with you, Alpha Lance.
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Alpha Lance
3:20 am | January 6, 2004
All right, let me make this clear. This is sloppy. Here is some advice. One, Elite, Grunts, Jackal, etc should be CAPITALIZE. Start a new sentence after a new character is going to speak. Chop up the paragraphs please. Get someone to edit it or look over it, proofread, proofread, PROOFREAD. That will help. Now, I don't mean to offend you, but that's life. Welcome to HBO ese.
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Matt Battaglia
3:00 am | January 6, 2004
"Please get this fix to where I can read it good."-that makes absolutely no sense. But besides that, thank you Hikaru I appreciate the criticism. In fact I'm gonna make a whole new series. And just for the record, I had three very well-educated people read it before i posted it...
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Hikaru-119
11:41 pm | January 5, 2004
Yeah um...Too fast, too short, get a bit better on the grammar, add detail-lots of them, and just make sure you work on it more. I recommend having other people read your work before you post it to. Just to make sure it makes sense.
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Alpha Lance
10:41 pm | January 5, 2004
OMG I can't read this. Please get this fix to where I can read it good. And yes I'm picky...
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One Shot One Kill
8:42 pm | January 5, 2004
A good job. Not the best but still pretty good. 8/10
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