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Comments for 'Of Traitors and Betrayal (-=Part-One=-)' |
Elite Zov
6:41 pm | May 18, 2004
Love you, man! The best so far! Man, you write really good. Besides, nice character. :)
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Lance
4:59 pm | May 18, 2004
because i hate him =D
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GeneralLee
12:34 pm | May 18, 2004
Great story,but don't feel the need to rush it. Keep with the details and build the characters. Why is the akerson dude such a tool?
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Gold Elite
9:09 pm | May 16, 2004
Ackerson sucks big time. It's funny to watch him get put on trial like this. Poor Ackerson . . . HAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Wiley
8:13 am | May 16, 2004
You need to use the [hr] tags to split the story up where it changes scenes, it makes it easier to understand.
I like how the Elite is adapting to our culture, altho sometimes he is a litle too human, try and have him make a bunch of refernces comparing our stuff to his own species' and...yea....
Over all, tho, this is one of the better stories on this site, and your one of the better n00bs on the FF scene (lol, just kidding about the newb part)
9.7/10 keep em coming
P.S.: ackerson better watch his back...if you know what I mean.....
Dont drop the soap!
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Lance
3:16 pm | May 14, 2004
Actually, this whole chapter revolves around a 2-day lapse of time, but i was trying to fit as much information into the story as possible to make room for the next chapter
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Lance
3:16 pm | May 14, 2004
Oh by the way, all you Ackerson haters, keep reading, he so gets it in a later chapter, big ole Ackerson gets it up his a**
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Lance
3:16 pm | May 14, 2004
btw, everyone watch for my name later on, i am starting a comedy about me trying to write a halo story with some seriously crazy distractions =D
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Slayer Boi
9:59 am | May 14, 2004
Lance- i am not even gonna bother saying anything. u know what i think of ur work, and this was 10x as good.
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someone that you dont know
3:45 am | May 14, 2004
Loved it! Nice, nice, and once again, NICE. Who woulda thought, a spartan elite. Nice twist. However, I thought everything moved a little too fast. One miniute, Huri beats jesse in some battle sim, next, its 18 hours later. I liked everything else. Also, kinda confusing. I had trouble figuring out who was an alien and who was human. 9.5/10
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Spacefan
5:31 pm | May 13, 2004
Yea! Another installment. I love what's happening to Ackerson--he deserves a life sentence at Leavenworth. I like how the situation has changed for Huri. Looking forward to the next episode.
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