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Comments for 'Earths End?' |
CoLd BlooDed
3:44 am | February 22, 2004
The MC's rank is "Master Chief Petty Officer".
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Nick Kang
5:39 pm | February 21, 2004
Well I don't think MC has 'ranks'. I think he is just the Master Chief and that is his rank.
Yeah plus you have to go through about three extremely important missions every two hours every day to get promoted from Private to Major in three months.
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Helljumper
5:46 am | February 20, 2004
I agree with SOS, i stopped at the same point. How does a private jump to Major in three months. That doesn't happen. Then u got a Major taking commands from a Lieutenant. Will some one educate these kids. Don't fuck up and put Helljumpers in ya story.
ODST
First to Rise, Last to fall
Helljumpers do it all
Feet first into Hell
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SOS.Odin
9:54 pm | February 19, 2004
i stopped reading when it said he was promoted to Major
there is no chance in HELL that a person could go from a Private to a Major in three months
NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!!
learn some stuff fore ya write again
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Nick Kang
8:51 pm | February 19, 2004
I don't thin MC would start crying seeing one of his officers die...he would probably just stand there feeling a little sad and not say anything...
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MC's Cousin
3:51 pm | February 19, 2004
Well, I just couldn't finish reading that. It is OK, but just OK. You need to split your dialouge into paragraphs:
"Hey John," said Sam. "Good to have you on board."
"Good to be here," responded John.
See what I mean? Plus I wasn't really seeing much of a story line in there. Just excitement over writing a story with the MC in it. By the way, that fist-person approach maked the story sound...funny. Plus, nobody knew MC's name was John except for his teammates, Doc Halsey, Mendez, and a select other few people, not just a random Marine.
Signing Off
MCC
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