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Comments for 'Ishkabibbl's Story Part 1' |
mr lucky
2:17 am | April 21, 2004
the whole grunt thing is new kind of refreshing i don't know but the tricked out pelican is cool and the over shield cammo is cool but why would the covies go to a planet just to fight and not just glass it and the spartan whare that come from
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scope77a
2:49 am | April 12, 2003
i loved it my little sister thinks the grunts are "cute" so she liked it to and i love the idea of a friendly grunt.
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sunscorpian
8:10 pm | March 26, 2003
geez, am i the first person who is going to comment about the story itself? *
i thought the story was pretty cool, and its refreshing to have a new idea. the story itself was somewhat shallow, for example the spartan coming out of nowere and suddenly there was a group of covie. try to give more explanation so the reader can put things into context easier.
none-the-less good story! ^-^
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Ishkabibbl
3:27 am | March 25, 2003
Ok then I'll try and make sure I do that on the second part.
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Steele
1:54 am | March 25, 2003
YOu don't HAVE to. But it is correct grammar and is that way in novels. It makes it alot easir to understand what is being said. You can have one character speaking and never change a paragraph. But when a different one talks please, I implore you start a new paragraph. After a while it becomes second nature.
I liked the super fast Grunt. The Grunt's version of the Spartan.
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Ishkabibbl
11:33 pm | March 24, 2003
I'm a bit slow... for seperating the talking does every line start a new paragraph?
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Ishkabibbl
11:33 pm | March 24, 2003
Does every time someone talks have to be a new paragraph?
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Steele
1:43 am | March 24, 2003
I agree with TheRedFaction and Dispraiser. A new paragraph everytime someone says something different(That's the tenth time I've told people that today)
Well anyway keep writing Iskabbil--ugh I can't remember how you wrote it!
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TheRedFaction
5:24 pm | March 23, 2003
Yeah, I'd have to go with Dispraiser here.
I hate it ( I mean, I HATE it ) when people use dialogue on the same line. Example:
"Advance North, head for the clearing. Got it?" "Yes sir!" "Good, now move!"
Ughh, it drives me CRAZY!!!
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Dispraiser - Piss mad at everything by the time I post this...
5:55 am | March 23, 2003
Second fanfic of two that I have read int eh alst 30 minutes that has no paragraphs between sspeakers... Still nice to see that someone remembers about talking and that it exists, but I am unsatisfied with the little rerun thing in the beggining... We all loved that cutscene four times, once for each difficulty, but we never bothered to watch it again... Don't write it again. Abbridged, altered, fine. Am I really pissed off that I spent a minute reading the rerun thing, no, not really... YOu moved on, so that was ok... Am I happy I had to read it?
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Ishkabibbl
1:07 am | March 23, 2003
thx next time i will do that
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Tank
10:50 am | March 19, 2003
It needs paragraphs between nu speakers. Don't want to piss on your parade, but I felt sorta choked by the blocks of text.
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