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Comments for 'Today and Tommorow' |
The Collector
10:32 pm | April 12, 2004
This would make for a good ID4ish kinda fanfic. Com On dont you think that 3rd world, 2nd world and Superpowers would not exist anymore since they started the covenant. And how did davidson know what he was looking at. Bio signs do not show types and blood just whether or not they breath. Rewrite this and repost k and good luck
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Grey fox
11:33 am | April 12, 2004
What the fuck do u know about Halo Chief 17? Anyway, a little mediocre but not half bad . But what got me SUPER PISSED was the fact that you FORGOT TO MENTION Will, one of the best SPARTANS ever, my personal favorite, who survived the Unyeilding Heirophant (too bad about Grace), and survived Reach. I mean come on, he deserves as much credit as Fred. 6.9/10 ~|(
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Chief17
7:42 pm | April 11, 2004
in my opinion....It stunk.
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Connie
8:29 am | April 11, 2004
Is this supposed to be a poem?
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romac1991
1:01 am | April 11, 2004
good, but needs work. Keep it up!
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Madjackal
7:33 pm | April 10, 2004
Your story has potential, but the wordpad-like format make it a pain to read. I suggest typing it in a regular word proccessor and then copying and pasting it into the fanfic submission form. Don't press enter after every line like wordpad makes you do. It messes it up like that. One of my friends did the same thing a while back. Don't worry. Fix the format and you'll have a good story going.
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Nick Kang
7:33 pm | April 10, 2004
Somewhat unrealistic. In fact, really unrealistic. Earth citizens already know about FTL travel AND the Human-Covenant war. It's just that ONI lies to make the people believe that Humanity is holding it's own against the Covies. And people just can't sign up for the SPARTAN IV program. They have to start training at a young age to reach extreme military efficiency. And by then, there would only be a SPARTAN III program.
Other than that truckload of stuff, there were a few spelling/grammar errors, but it's impossible to get rid of those.
7/10
*There ain't no fury like Nick Kang pissed off!*
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Awacar
7:28 pm | April 10, 2004
Is this somethig I'm supposed to read or just watch from a distance?
No, but seriously, kid, check some other fanfics out, learn the way to describe things, don't violate lines like that, keep the characters coming until the line ends. I cannot (shouldn't?) speak of grammar here, as I didn't stand to read that carefully. Storyline follows the same pattern.
Still, if you put some effort into it, you'll become a decent, good fanfic writer, but unless you try and practice many times, people can't even give you the constructive critisism they should. That's the hard world, son, if people cannot read a story, they cannot say what needs impovement.
Good luck!
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