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Chronicle of Neapolitan Ice Cream Banshee
Posted By: Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands<tea_equals_beer@yahoo.com>
Date: 7 February 2003, 8:30 am


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Warning to all you pitiful mortals, you may encounter some spoilers which could be to your disliking here. Especially in regards to the uber-secret Banshee that is so secret, you can't even find it unless you flip the secret switch inside your Xbox. I believe it's under and to the right of the yellow connection port that allows you to hook up Washington Xboxes to the internet that Skavenger mentioned, and you must have gamma ray goggles [Or Gamma Ray Vision, as we youkai lords can toggle on and off at will. It's actually how bees see.] to see it, as it's slightly radioactive but completely invisible. In gamma vision it's big and pink and says in bright blue letters "Neapolitan Ice Cream Banshee ON/OFF" and as a default it is set to OFF.

(A picture of the Neapolitan Ice Cream Banshee can be found here.)

The Neapolitan Ice Cream Banshee was the Human answer to the Orange Hunters' Orange Banshee- and as with their forerunner, the Yellow Banshee, it incorporated a mix of Human and Covenant technology. Originally designed to be a compact, collapsible top-secret Banshee for quick transport, the some six sections evolved into three individually pilotable pieces- Vanilla, Choclate, and Strawberry.
Though the NIC Banshee did not come with a sunroof or cup holders, or reflecting armor like the Hunters' shields found on the Orange Banshee, the NIC banshee did have a deep-freezer as well as a coat rack- it's a cold-storage Banshee.
The Ice Cream Truck Project was begun in secret on Sirius colony, as an emergency response to the discovery of the Covenant Hunter ships' weakness to subnormal temperatures. The Hunter ships were a different issue from the cruisers humans were used to- first thought to be savage brutes, Hunters turned out to be very near as intelligent and almost as technologically advanced as their Elite counterparts- and with the victory at the Covenant main shipyard, the Hunter navy was called into full active duty, much to the Humans' surprise.
Their only weakness was to cold, and lots of it- though they had thick armor to resist the cold of space, a single one-man fighter or two was capable of infiltrating the ships- not for long, of course, without heavy, Special Banshee-quality armor.
The Neapolitan Ice Cream Banshee is capable of infiltrating the main heat shafts of Hunter cruiser ships and delivering its payload of cryogenic doom- as well as splitting into three individually pilotable pieces for the smaller Hunter vessels. Not by humans, of course, these far smaller components are suited to only seat a human under normal circumstances, when the Banshee is on a sortie where it intends to be broken up, the midget elites volunteer their services.
Though by and large midget elites are the enemy of mankind, these midget elites, captured and genetically engineered to not only be nice to the carnivorous carrion gnomes but also to be good Secret Banshee pilots, work for, not against, humanity in training as their crack squad of Teeny Vehicle Piloting.

Also, the developers of the NIC Banshee allowed the side windows to slide open so that the pilot can perform a drive-by shooting- when he/she/it is not delivering ice cream to the enemy.
Ice cream is notorious in ending battles. You can't shoot a needler with a double-fudge scoop cone in one hand, you'll get it all over you, and the Covenant just recently discovered what Humans have known all along- the impossibility of getting sticky ice cream off of your hands with anything short of a full-scale sponge bath.
Also, the Banshee was equipped with a secret, devastating weapon, the ability to get a song stuck in your head. Of course I can't tell you WHICH song, that would get it stuck in your head once you thought about it.
Da da da DUM da da DA DA DA dum dum da doot doot!

The NIC Banshee, when fully assembled, has the following array of weapons.
Left Trigger- Cryo-Beam
Right Trigger- Drive-By Shooting (uses whatever gun you had equipped when entering NIC Banshee)
White Button- Turn On Ice Cream Truck Music (So the enemy knows what you're delivering)
Black Button- Open/Close Fridge (Don't leave the fridge open! Ice cream in there!)
Y Button- Deliver Fruit-Flavored Ice Cream (selects at random)
B Button- Deliver Chocolate-Flavored Ice Cream (selects at random)
A Button- Deliver Candy-Flavored Ice Cream (selects at random)
It was found that, in general, Grunts enjoy the candy-flavored, Hunters and Prophets enjoy fruit-flavored, and Elites, Jackals, and Brutes prefer chocolate.
The Flood, incidentally, prefer Brain-flavored, but you have to get a custom-made Brain Ice Cream Banshee for fighting flood.
X Button- Enter/Exit Banshee
Left Stick- Accelerate/Decelerate
Right Stick- Turn Banshee
Control Pad- Break Apart Banshee Controls-
The Down Pad breaks the Banshee apart and puts it back together, Left Pad puts you in control of the Vanilla part, the Right pad puts you in control of the Chocolate, and the Up pad puts you in control of the Strawberry.
Select Button- Go to Color Edit Mode for the Master Chief, in which you can edit the color of the MC's armor using a palette like in Armored Core 2. The NIC Banshee has a built-in spray shop.
Start Button- Pause Game
Left Thumbstick Click- Get A Song Stuck In Your Head
Right Thumbstick Click- Give Refund

The NIC Banshee is well-equipped to handle any Halo contingency save a real live one. Best to stick to the mini-game with this one.





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