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Attack on Some Human Ship pt. 2 --More idiots babbling about stuff--
Posted By: Nick Kang<digitai430@yahoo.com>
Date: 29 April 2004, 3:26 PM
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AN: Don't you just hate it when people leave long, long, long Author's Notes the ramble on, and on, and on? That just bugs the hell outta me. I hope people stop leaving those things. The italicizedededed(sp?) writing is me talking. This may or may not be funnier than the last, it's impossible to tell if you're the one writing it.
TIME: 1256 HOURS (OH YEAH, I FINALLY GOT IN MILITARY TIME!)
DATE: DECEMBER 12TH, 1942 (DAMMIT! WWII AGAIN!)—JANUARY 30TH, 2553
ABOARD SOME COVENANT SHIP, TRAVELING THROUGH SPACE AGAIN.
WHERE: SPACE (AGAIN, DUH)
The bridge of the cruiser, Some Covenant Ship glowed and pulsed with artificial lights as Limburger 'Colbee entered, carrying the Human captain on his shoulders. Ship Master Bleu 'Monteree turned, enticed by the sound of the doors opening.
"Ah...'Colbee, you are here. I trust you brought the Huma—"
Listen, 'Monteree, you wanna get paid? Stick to the script, or else later in the story, you will 'accidently fall out an airlock!'
"Why? I demand my rights as an Elite! I'm going on strike! Freedom of Speech! I'm gonna go get in a lifeboat and jettison myself to the homeworld to gather protesters!" 'Monteree replied, running across the control center toward the lifeboat airlock. He opened the first airlock door and stepped in. The glass door slid shut behind him. His eyes quickly grew wide and he yelled,
"Hey, where's the lifeboat!?!?!?!?!?!" and with that, the last door opened by itself and he was quickly sucked out of the small chamber.
Ya see where protesting gets ya? Stay in school kids, don't do drugs. I don't know why I'm saying these things, as they have nothing to do with the story. So let's try again.
The bridge of the cruiser, Some Covenant Ship glowed and pulsed with artificial lights as Limburger 'Colbee entered, carrying the Human Captain on his shoulders. Ship Master Cheese 'Cheezee(hey, I'm runnin out of names) turned, enticed by the sound of the doors opening.
"Colbee! Why have you not yet deposited that Human in the brig yet?" he yelled. 'Colbee shrugged and replied:
"Who thi—wait are we talking English, or Covenant?"
"English."
"o ok i just rememberrd i onli lernd inglish yestrdae wear is da brig"
"Oh, okay, we'll talk Covenant."
"Okay that's better. So where is the bri—"
"I'm getting a piggy back ride! YAAAAAAAAY!" yelled the Human from 'Colbee's shoulder.
Haha, indent.
Heh, indent.
Indenting is fun!
Oh sorry, did I say that out loud? Well anyways, on with the show.
Just as 'Cheezee was about to reply, there was a clang coming from the outer hull and a distant metallic voice could be heard. "I recommend you upgrade to at least a class twenty-four combat skin. Your current reads only as a class thirteen and was unable to withstand my impact. I am a genius, hehehehe." The damage officer wheeled around in his chair and shouted,
"Hull breach in section 3! Sensors indicate a small, spherical, severely annoying floaty thing caused the collision!" Cheezee spun on his heel, his eyes growing wide, and muttered,
"Of course! Only a small, spherical severely annoying floaty thing would dare breach our hull! Order all battle ready soldiers to patrol for this small, spherical, severely annoying floaty thing!"
Hehe
Oh, was I actually typing that? Sorry.
"The ship's accelerating! Cheddar is going in manual!" Cortana's voice blared in Swiss's ears. (Don't ask me why she's in his helmet, but it makes for a cool story.) "Uhhh...Cortana? There is no Cheddar, remember, he got captured by that thing that killed that one guy with blue stuff."
"Oh yeah," Cortana's voice faded, "The...blue stuff. You mean plasma?"
"Uhhh, sure...palmsa...however you pronounce it." Swiss replied, "Wait a second? How'd you get in my helmet? How'd I get on this lifeboat? Last chapter I just got knocked unconsious by pulling a tricked-out matrix move and hitting a wall! Oh well, I must just be going insane again."
"Then how is the ship accelerating?" Cortana asked, returning to their original conversation.
"Maybe...an evil fellowship of alien races hijacked it and are locating Earth as we speak, where they plan to invade our homeworld and kill every Human they find!" Swiss said, his voice growing louder wih every second.
"That's the Covenant you Jackass!" Cortana yelled through the speakers in Swiss's helmet.
"Oh, okay. Maybe one of the technicians took over the controls." Swiss replied.
Some Human Ship shot over Swiss's lifeboat, creating a remake of the crash scene on Halo: Combat Evolved. Suddenly, the lifeboat was filled with Marines checking their weapons, and Swiss was suddenly in bulky MJOLNIR armor.
'Cool, Swiss thought, I get to be a SPARTAN!
TO BE CONTINUED!
(DUN DUN DUN!)
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