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Comments for 'A Spartan Names James- Part 3' |
ZePHyR wRaiTH
11:33 am | October 25, 2003
Sorry for the mistake in the title, I submitted it at about 1:30AM on Tuesday after doing fourteen pages of Chem. homework and a Spanish project so give me a break. Thanks to DisPraiser for the low (high?) score.
By the way, Part 4 will be much bigger and better than this, I had to get James from the cargo hold to the bridge and wasn't having to much fun doing it. But all things considered I don't think it turned out too bad.
Thank You
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Mainevent
2:06 am | October 25, 2003
LOL
Do you think with as much talent as you have, and as much joy as I receive from reading your stories I would really care about the name?
(answer's yes by the way)
jk
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Dispraiser
1:50 am | October 25, 2003
A two is great. Scaled roughly to a nine in your case, when placed on the traditional scale. I am ashamed that I missed that title glitch... It has been said that Humans read by the shapes of words almost a smuch as the letters (why all caps are hard to read, they are block shaped no matter what), and I guess I just read it as named...
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Dispraiser
6:25 pm | October 24, 2003
I reviewed one of yorus when you were still new here. I'll read yorus, you read enough of mine... Sorry, o/t...
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Mainevent
1:55 am | October 24, 2003
Damnit Dispraiser, you never review me. ;(
I'll hunt you down, and curse you're cabbage if you don't review one of my stories.
Preferably Countdown Earth: Hour Seven, as I think it's the best one in the series so far.
A few grammar and spelling errors, but eh, it happens.
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Dispraiser
1:44 am | October 24, 2003
Nice.
Flackfic review of two, which is EXCEPTIONAL.
I took off one point because you had TINY almost insignificant grammar errors. You need to be especially careful with the english language, because it makes it really easy to add in extra words. You can see that clearly in my last sentance. Did I need to say "Add in extra words"? No, just "Add extra words". The english language has more words than most others, and you need to be careful to use the right ones.
I threw a point off for originality as well, but I felt really bad for doing this. Somehow, though, this part on its own seemed a lot like a mission I remember from Halo. My review scale is VERY friendly to originality.
Luckily, your sentances were nearly poetic. I was reading, submerged in the story, only disturbed by slight shimmerings of extra words. One that I can recal is 'on' in the second paragraph, right by the end.
I took off a point for making everything happen too fast as well, but I think that might have been part of the theme. So, out of mercy and happiness I gave you back the point for honoring a fallen teacher who set a great example for me.
Two of his quotes that stuck with me (one that you almost used)
"Hope is not a plan"
"Basicly, once we got rifles we could reach out and touch people much further away."
Now he's off in Bosnia making sure the people over there don't racially cleanse eachother to death.
Flackfic of two is the high score as of now. One other person got a two before you.
http://dispraiser.tripod.com/flackfic.htm
- See what your review means!
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Sergeant B
7:15 pm | October 23, 2003
Nice story!! And would anyone like to join Raider's Company at seventh collumn?
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Mainevent
7:03 pm | October 23, 2003
Named-NAMED DAMNIT!!!
Other than that, good job.
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