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Comments for 'Shadows of Archon II (part 28) - My Nano-machines Are Smaller than Yours' |
Nem0fTime
2:55 am | February 20, 2004
Dude Greatest Story i've ever read based on HALO, not to mention great plot, overall to rate this story from 1-10, 1 being- This Sucks, and 10 Being- This a Rad story. Well from myself you got a 10 for your story. Keep coming up with this stuff dude
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Wado
10:02 am | November 27, 2002
Next ones on the way
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Vero
1:52 am | November 27, 2002
I have read all your series mister wado. I only started to post when i found out about it when i was reading that one series," Hell through the eyes of a Marine" That is when i started to post on stories.
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Wado
4:48 pm | November 26, 2002
Yes welcome back (non-spamming) Kyle...lol
And thanks for the comments, like I said my next post is going to seem really slow to some so be prepared. Also there's only four more chapters in this series -- should end on Part 33.
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WargodX2399
3:54 pm | November 26, 2002
Oh yah nd diablo, we replied 2 ur e-mail.
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WargodX2399
3:44 pm | November 26, 2002
Well, I look 4ward to it. Wlcome back Kyle. Even if it's only fr a short time. OK IT WASNT MY LAST DAY IM STAYING A LITTLE LONGER I JUST FOUND OUT.
And I tend 2 agree with Kyle when it comes to slowness on ur stories. MUCH like episode II of stR wars when u could cut out all the boring pts with padme and anakin. Im saying u could put a little boring stuff in there so we could take a break, But u put in 2 much. u've gotta slow down on it or else the quality will drop a lot. Like in Kyle's stories where it was pure action and nobody liked them. That's why all of our next stories will be planned out a little more carefully. Oh yah I submitted one thru the HTTP upload nd it didn't make it thru... i just found out that u needed 2 log in bfore u uploaded, but my stry is stored in my PC back home... I don't go back until thursday......
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Xzilen
10:21 pm | November 25, 2002
Major Kudos, you keep coming up with new material thats pretty good. I like it, though I will admit I'm a bit lost in a few parts.
When I have the time I'm going back to re-read from start to finish.
Keep it up man!
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Wado
9:33 pm | November 25, 2002
Thanks for the comment, however, my next post is going to seem like mach 0.000000001 since it is a special chapter I'm writing using the style of my first Fan Fic here.
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The sword of the admiral
9:15 pm | November 25, 2002
Great read, but since some of us r a little impaitient, I reccomend putting more action in. Because I mean, half of that story was kinda boring. It's kinda like STAR WARS EPISODE II, you could cut out half of it and it would be a great movie. What I'm trying to get at is ur stories go 2 slow. I'm not saying that u have 2 shorten them up so they go at MACH 78,059,405 like my first fan fic but maybe just a little faster, comprende?
No offense, man. The good half of the story was EXCELLENT.
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Wado
4:23 am | November 25, 2002
Thanks for the comment Vero. So I'm confused, are you a long time reader of the series or a new reader who went back and read the series?
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Vero
1:32 am | November 25, 2002
Nice story again mister Wado!?!?!? As usual, i have read pretty much all of your series and i have thought they were all very good. Can't wait untill the next one!
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Wado
4:59 pm | November 24, 2002
Thanks for the comment Sarge. Yes I remember, started to lose you after the third chapter of Return of the Archons -- Then in Shadows of Archon, you were gone :(
Ah the good old days...
BTW, HTML is disabled but you can still paragraph using the return key twice.
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Sarge
2:17 pm | November 24, 2002
My grammars always bad(I have to hear about that from him too, he likes to harp on my grammar and spelling lol) Ack I tried to do a paragraph and remembered no HTML.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------This is a good story I miss the old ones though(been a long time since I commented on your story). Your lacking it still do I really need to keep saying it lol. It seems as though you've lost all of what once drew me in to your first Archon story.(Go check the comment on that story if you don't remember what it was).__________________________________________________________________________________________________I'll still give you credit that it's a good story even though it's not to my liking(Did that make any sense?) It is still well written, and I enjoyed it to a degree.
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Wado
5:30 am | November 24, 2002
Tried to edit grammar, oops, sorry... I hope people understand that grammar is sometimes really bad when chatting.
What did people think of the story, by the way?
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Knightmare(MM
3:08 am | November 24, 2002
Man, you even forgot to edit grammar... enranged? lol...
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Wado
1:59 am | November 24, 2002
So he bothers you with it too Sarge?...lol
So Knightmare wrote a bunch of suggestions to make this chapter better, only he didn't put it in the comments, so I will put some of it (edited) here:
Knightmare says: Thaydo, Utas, Wado. Get my message? lol
Knightmare says: On your comments.
Wado says: must look now
Wado says: Aiyo?
Knightmare says: Its a runic meaning friend.
Wado says: oh
Knightmare says: Remember what Thaydo Utas means?
Knightmare says: "Surrender Spartan," said the first Elite in English, "and we shall be merciful." I say that line could have been better.
Knightmare says: like.....
Knightmare says: "Surrender Spartan." The first instructed. "And we shall be merciful"
Wado says: nice
Wado says: I had to sneak English into it to show that it wasn't a translation
Knightmare says: "Now," said Cortana as the third Elite fired from behind John.
Knightmare says: Might have been:
Knightmare says: "Now!" Cortana cried aloud as the Third Elite fired his weapon, attempting to catch John from behind.
Wado says: again nice touch
Knightmare says: WAnt me to list some more?
Wado says: I think I'll copy and paste this into my comments section
Knightmare says: -.-
Knightmare says: Luna kalaun Magere, Hecr.
Knightmare says: Some advice I have regarding john and that full mag..
Knightmare says: Spartan or not hes moving as he's firing, and he's got every angle to contend with.
Wado says: No they hit the target revealing it under cloak but most of the shots deflected off the Elite.
Knightmare says: The Elite returned fire at John
Knightmare says: Could have been just.. The elite returned fire
Knightmare says: This line: "Chief, that beam is similar to the weapon used by Guilty Spark's Sentinels back on Halo," said Cortana. "Hey watch out, don't forget there are two of us in here."
Knightmare says: Doesnt mix very well.
Knightmare says: Would have added to your atmosphere a bit if you'd seperated those.
Wado says: Cortana's rambling.
Knightmare says: That last bit could have come later.
Knightmare says: A beam could just barely graze his helmet and she shouts "Hey watch it! There are two of us in here, remember?"
Wado says: Yes should have reversed the order
Knightmare says: The order was fine.
Knightmare says: It was the area the sentence was used it that got me going.
Knightmare says: John reloads his rifle from behind cover. "Cortana, I'm still picking up four moving enemies, don't tell me they're all still okay," said John.
Knightmare says: (I gotta tell you, you're saying said a lot...)
Wado says: I always do.
Knightmare says: Anyway, I'm sorry but I've gotta' keep bugging you. Conflict like this in a story is what had me stressed, and doing some 'wrong' stuff
Wado says: huh?
Knightmare says: It could have been:
John cursed himself inwardly for his lack of attention, ejecting the old clip to slap a fresh one in.
Knightmare says: Saying he reloaded from behind cover is stupid.
Knightmare says: They already know he's in it.
Wado says: oh, I see. I don't usually say anything about what John is thinking. I usually try to give him straight forward statements and describe his actions.
Knightmare says: Hmmm.... Thats what I did for one part... And everyone says I lacked description...
Knightmare says: Start writing like you used to.
Knightmare says: lol...
Knightmare says: Actually maybe that was you... *Shrug*
Knightmare says: Doesn't matter.
Wado says: Oh, wait, I don't write what he is thinking but I do write how he feels -- i.e., sick feeling to stomach, arm hurts, etc.
Knightmare says: "One, two, three, go!" John charges out from cover directly at the first Elite. "Kihaaaaa!" yelled John as he fired his battle rifle. --
Knightmare says: Might change it to:
Knightmare says: John charges out of his cover in as brazen a manner as he'd ever seen, straight towards the first elite. "Kihaaaaa!" The enranged Spartan shrieked, desperation factoring in and augmenting his natural resilence tenfold.
Knightmare says: shriekedd is the wrong word though.
Knightmare says: so I'd have to keep thinking for that word... lol
Wado says: Cool, sounds like Knightmare wrote that...lol. I would not use the word desperation for John, the way I write him. I would use the word with Cortana though.
Knightmare says: Spartan or not, John is a living creature. Everything has survival instinct.
Wado says: Even in the face of death, John is cool headed, that's his character. Although he can get angry.
Knightmare says: Hmm. Right... Anger would be something he'd feel.
Knightmare says: He's being tag-teamed.
Knightmare says: lol
Wado says: It's the non-battle times that I mess with John's mannerisms.
Knightmare says:For a second there I was gonna rant about needler grenades....but then I realized: Covenstein is a grunt... and the voice it's coming from would be perfect.
Wado says: oh the grenades...lol
Knightmare says: But seriously: EAT NEEDLER GRENADES!!!
Knightmare says: lol
Wado says: Was going to be "Eat HOT needler grenade..." but I took out the hot.
Knightmare says: "Eat hot lead you blue-bellied maggot livered gutter-puss!" "Arr! I'll bite you kneecaps!"
Wado says: Notice he called them by their correct translation... Immortals.
Knightmare says: Riiiiight.
Knightmare says: For a second there I was thinking "mmm.. He's talking like-- Persian immortals?" Then I watched them get back up again. I'm thinking... "Whoa... Cloaked elite getting up. Thats new." Those things are easy to kill, even on legendary. Covenant without shields are like marines.
Wado says: Well, yes, that inspired the name -- the Persian is right. These Elites are Max Relius' breed. Max from ROTA
Knightmare says: I know.
Wado says: I knew you would.
Knightmare says: "You have been charged with high crimes against the people!!"
Knightmare says: "The penalty... Is death."
Wado says: yup, that' him
Knightmare says: I love those moments.
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Knightmare(MM
10:41 pm | November 23, 2002
Ethri Thaydo Luna, Sarge. Eshma kalaun Rayo.
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Sarge
10:05 pm | November 23, 2002
So he bothers you with it too eh?
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Wado
8:28 pm | November 23, 2002
Aiyo: It's a runic meaning friend.
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Knightmare(MM
8:26 pm | November 23, 2002
I've already told you that one, Sarge. You have a memory after all! ;- )
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Sarge
6:47 pm | November 23, 2002
Wait wait don't tell me Aiyo=means friend right.
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Knightmare(MM
6:17 pm | November 23, 2002
Nasy, nasty, little Aiyo. Hiding the word Reclaimer in there... nasty little tricks you've done which I care not to name...
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