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saturn
4:24 am | May 4, 2003
now that i think it over again, my comment sounds a lot worse than i meant it to be, but hopefully my openess can contribute to improvment if any.
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saturn
4:19 am | May 4, 2003
im going to be very clear. your diction is very rough. its great to have a vocabulary but clouding the poem or whatever it is with too many "big" words doesnt seem so professional. The way you use some of the words isn't natural.
However, It is satisfying that you really spent some time writing it and please don't let my stoopid comments stop you from writing. I just think the fic is too far off the edge.
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Tank
6:27 am | May 3, 2003
It's good. But when you consider that it's based on a Sci-Fi FPS (which is a shit motivation) you realise he's done quite something to make it sound deeper than the subject really is.
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Steele
2:49 pm | May 2, 2003
Deep!
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John Morris
12:34 pm | May 2, 2003
You gotta give the kid props, I mean, poems are hard to write, you have to have emotion in which to do so, I can write excellent ones if and only if I feel for the topic, and writing about a Science Fiction poem would would make me look like a janitor, but you pulled it off man, weather you felt it or not, you did it 9/10.
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Agent Shade
1:26 am | May 2, 2003
PG, 8/10
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scope
10:53 pm | May 1, 2003
8/10
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James Kinsella
9:57 pm | May 1, 2003
Not bad. Keep it up!
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