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Comments for 'Neverland: Home to Sparta' |
Mainevent
7:14 pm | April 3, 2004
I like it. I wanna see the siege of Sparta or something. Keep it up.
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SOS.Odin
3:50 am | April 1, 2004
i would like to know actually
im a huge noob at this writin biz
done what i have so far from failed englis classes
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Flu
2:08 am | April 1, 2004
Nice job. A happy ending...or is it?
You need a few more commas in your compound sentences, and I'd also like to see deeper descriptions of what the spartan's are seeing, and feeling around them. Don't get me wrong, it's good as it stands, but you could enrich it quite a bit that way. There are techniques for doing this if you want to know.
Overall this was a consistently good series.
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SOS.Odin
11:00 am | March 31, 2004
*sniff*
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MasterCD
8:36 am | March 31, 2004
Ahhhh, very interesting. Y'know, I never really got used to the Spartans having actual names. I suppose they were just humans once, but it still seems strange. But it was a good story. 'The city of Sparta'...I like it!
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SOS.Odin
2:20 am | March 31, 2004
id be honored :D
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CoLd BlooDed
12:21 am | March 31, 2004
The ending of this story--somehow--touched me, kindof a dramatic end to this chapter. I can imagine the city perfectly, buildings everywhere with a large wall, with Kelly and John are in a huge building overlooking Sparta. Great job, Odin, and is it okay if I put you in my comedy I'm making? :P
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SOS.Odin
12:03 am | March 31, 2004
1 AM?!?!?!
golly its only 6:07 in the PM here
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SOS.Odin
12:00 am | March 31, 2004
i guess that last chapter lost me all my readers :D
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