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Comments for 'Brethren (part 1)' |
Severian
6:21 pm | June 28, 2004
Oh, man. Thanks, CoLd. Thanks, all of you who reviewed. :)
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CoLd BlooDed
4:26 pm | June 28, 2004
As always, Severian, I loved it, very poetic and graceful. I want to see where this goes.
Now, regarding your question, and since I've been on HBO for almost a year (started last summer) I think you have improved from your beginning stories. You've learned the code, pretty much mastered it, and your grammar and way to twist reality into a string of words is incredible - and now that I remember you type these things up in the submission form... wow.
Anyways, you have improved, your stuff is completely different (I like it, for one, not sure about others), and you have a way of describing things like no one else.
Keep it up, Severian.
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Severian
10:39 pm | June 27, 2004
I write these things on the FF submission form in around 30-40 minutes... That's why their all short and plagued with any problems all first-drafts have.
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someone that you dont know
3:38 am | June 27, 2004
If i remember correctly, you cant save anything on your computer, so you wrote that in one day? Or did you simply keep your computer on for days on end until you finished? Anyways, impressive. 8/10 keep this up
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SeverianofUrth
2:29 am | June 27, 2004
My point exactly. :$
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Slit Throat
2:15 am | June 27, 2004
Even though I haven't been here that long...
It makes your stories sound even better than they really are, which I have to say is pretty darn good. : )
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Severian
10:53 pm | June 26, 2004
Thanks...
Question for some of you who have been here longer than me, and read some of my first stories:
Have I improved, changed, or anything in my writing style/skill? How do I fare without the reassuring companionship of beta-readers and spell-checkers and grammar-checkers and the use of Microsoft Word? Is my writing still good even when I have to write everything out on the Fanfiction submission form?
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Young Gunna
8:02 pm | June 26, 2004
Wierd outlook on the covenant... Wasn't sure if he was a jackal or elite at first since jackals have shields as well.
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Dari
7:26 pm | June 26, 2004
An interesting insight on the past and culture of the Elites. Keep it up mon ami!
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343 Salty Beans
7:10 pm | June 26, 2004
A few mispellings, but great grammar and format. I really enjoyed your description of tension between Covenant castes, and the ceremonies you described (like the slaying of the last native.
343SB
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Helljumper
5:51 pm | June 26, 2004
Hmmm interesting.
ODST
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Sentinel
5:29 pm | June 26, 2004
I do not see this kind of work everyday. Great job.
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