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Comments for 'The Sands of Derelict Chapter 1 The Final Jihad' |
monitor101
10:56 pm | January 14, 2004
Dude no need to be sorry you didn't offend me.
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Agent Shade
4:14 am | January 12, 2004
i'm sorry Monitor, i didn't mean to offend you. I just thought that the main character of this story sounded a lot like Robert Watts, that's all.
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monitor101
11:14 pm | January 10, 2004
Forget Robert Watts that has nothing to do with the story. So just read on and see what happens.
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Mainevent
6:54 pm | January 10, 2004
Robert Watts is dead.
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monitor101
11:57 pm | January 8, 2004
Thanks for the comments. Shade I am currently reading so many stories. How do you expect me to remember Robert Watts? I've read Halo:FOR 3 times in the beginning of last year. No new Robert Watts, terrorists now, fanatic Islamics, thats who Abdul Assad is. Thats exactly where I got the name Derelict and yes I know I'm not that stupid Forerunner. Thanks for the advice Wado I will take that into consideration in other charactor descriptions. You might get the idea of the plot in the next chapter which will be posted probably on Saturday (West Coast time Zone).
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Wado
10:05 am | January 7, 2004
Excellent writing monitor101. I read this before but didn't comment, don't know why.
There was only one part that I wasn't sure was done quite as nicely as the rest of the story. You introductions of the two characters, one from Isreal and the other form Palistine, seemed a bit too direct. I suggest using character descriptions a bit more to lead the reader to the logical conclusions for the characters' cultural background. Instead of just saying an Isreali, you could say the man brandished the Star of David, a gift from his father that always reminded him of his birthplace, etc. or something like that.
Anyway keep up the great job. Looking forward to more.
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FOrunnER
4:50 am | January 7, 2004
Hmmm, interesting. What is this 'Master Plan' you speak of? No wait!!! Don't spoil it, i was joking.
Pretty nice, just wanted to tell you though that Delerict is a Multi-player map on Halo case you didn't know (because you called Jericho IV 'Derelict')
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Agent Shade
7:50 pm | January 6, 2004
you must not have read Halo: Fall of Reach....Robert Watts is the leader of the rebel forces....the Spartans apprehend him in hope to end the rebellion
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monitor101
7:48 pm | January 6, 2004
Thanks Shade for the 'single' comment. Whats Robert Watts? Well this is only the start of the series and its more like Nelson Demille's By the Rivers of Babylon. Any more comments?
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Agent Shade
7:56 pm | January 5, 2004
hmmm interesting concept and idea here monitor....a new Robert Watts almost....it was good, keep writing
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