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Comments for 'A Young Privates Story:The Battle of Grecko Colony: Part 1' |
KilltheMonitor
7:21 am | July 16, 2004
alright then, cool, Ive got chpt. 2 that Ive made and Ive tried to improve it even more so, here it gose, I hope its better yet:-) Jessica, you can leacve ur comment on the next chpt. too
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Jessica
6:27 am | July 16, 2004
You know, every new author comes into HBO as a Newbie, but by spazzing out, you become a newb...so instead of trying to argue over the internet, why don't you just not post and make the next one better, while taking in the constructice critism that other people are givinvg you? Making excuses to people on HBO proves nothing...
Jess
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KilltheMonitor
5:40 am | July 16, 2004
ALL RIGHT i know this story sucks, i made and it sounded cool, manley cause the carectores are my friends and family, and we act that way so it was funny for us to write and it made sence to us. i aint making any more so just dont post any more comments about how it sucked. I know your trying to help but its kinda depressing to get this kinda comments and work for a week on something and work hard on it. o well.
i really wanna stress that i appreseate the helpful hints but im just going to give up on it(im better at the game anyway)
-KilltheMonitor
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KilltheMonitor
5:40 am | July 16, 2004
also i wanted to say read my bros story(it aint the best but it aint bad eather) its called "liberties bell" its 2 stories down from mine
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Red Ghost
1:48 am | July 16, 2004
Well, by using the code your story wouldn't be half as confusing. Also don't have all those run- on sentences...take a breather!! Besides that, just practice and keep on...er, truckin'. It's your foxhole!
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Solidus Snake
12:14 am | July 16, 2004
Ew. What the fuck is this...?
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Bebop
11:20 am | July 15, 2004
i dont know what you guys mean, i liked the story(esspelaly compaired to other peoples writting) it dose need some help though but it might become a good series
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Hawk7886
8:11 am | July 15, 2004
You must be quite confused to consider any of said authors/critics "Gods."
To a further point, in order to become a respectible critic you need to be quite experiened with the language. Pay attention in class, read as much as possible, and become your hardest critic to your own work.
Inspiring is great, but the skill comes from patience and practice.
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Dave Luck
6:23 pm | July 14, 2004
Hey, I think I need to take this monitor back to the shop.
It's giving me a headache.
- Dave.
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Helljumper
11:58 am | July 14, 2004
I get all my plots from sitting on the toilet and my stories aren't shitty.... hahaha I made a funny.
ODST
who says Helljumpers don't have a sense of humor.
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Severian
11:47 am | July 14, 2004
Advice: Take some time off, study writing, take time on your next story (start anew with a different name, for one), and do all these I tell you to do:
-Read Orson Scott Card's "How to write Science Fiction." Good book, helps new writers immensely. I should know; I tutor english for profit.
-Go to www.sfwa.org, read the sections of writing techniques.
-read. read. read. I suggest reading:
1:Ender's Game
2:Lord of the Rings
3:Hyperion
-practice. I understand that this isn't a good place for it, so try reading it to yourself. See if it read smoothly, and is easy to read.
-Take alot of time writing a story, if you aren't that naturally talented. Take maybe a week on your next story, proofreading, revising, revising, and revising, then proofreading.
-Experiment with different viewpoints.
-And again, PRACTICE! Write about anything you want, whenever you can. Inspire yourself from your backyard, your toilet, whatever.
-Good luck!
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Nick Kang
11:45 am | July 14, 2004
The story wasn't that good, sorry to say...
Or you could read 'Ice Station' by Matt Reilly. That looks into a lot of meneuvers and the code of Marines. Plus it's just a really good book.
NK
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Jessica
9:25 am | July 14, 2004
What? Noobasauruses Rexs? Heh, Sorry, i've just been called Dumbasaurus all day...just because i walked into a window, when i thought there wasn't one...
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!@#$
5:58 am | July 14, 2004
I learned something from Severian that can come in handy.
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russ687
5:11 am | July 14, 2004
I think that anyone has potential to be a good writer if they like something enough; and by the sounds of it you like Halo. So listen to Severian's advice and start building the right experience to write a story.
Remember, good authors don't just wake up ready to write (I sure as hell didn't). It took me many stories, none of which are on HBO, thank god, to be a good writer. You need to start somewhere...
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Helljumper
1:46 am | July 14, 2004
I'm a god (evil laugh)
ODST
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KilltheMonitor
12:30 am | July 14, 2004
well thanks for the advise, but i have been thinking and mabey i'll study and become a true cridic on fanfic instead of a writer. but thank you so much for the help, and wish me luck, plus emberasing myself anymore infront of halo GODS, (helljumper,russ68 343saltybeans)so im just going to stop writting for now.
p.s. hell jumper you are the BEST on fanfic so that wasnt just funny but true
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KilltheMonitor
10:41 pm | July 13, 2004
Well I'm 15 years old and I've read all the halo books(Fall of Reach, The Flood, First Strike) I've read both of your fanfics and I've beat the game halo on xbox(the covie levels on legendary) and I've devoted my life to Halo. And I'm sorry it sucked. It's just I'm not a big writer, and Halo is the only thing I've ever found good enough to write about. So sorry but could I get some advice for chapter 2.
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Helljumper
7:41 pm | July 13, 2004
Yea I'm with russ, this sucked for real. Not to be offensive but it was pretty bad. Writing is an art not just something you do cause u want to fit in. i suggest sticking to reading some GOOD fanfics first and the Halo books and i throw in Robert A Heinlein's Starship Troopers because much of Halo was taken from that. Also try Tom Clancy books.
How old are you author?
ODST
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russ687
5:27 pm | July 13, 2004
Lame; I only read your descriptive paragraph and stopped after that. Use the Code (go to the fanfic submission form and read the directions). Do not post another story until you know those directions.
Also, if they wanted to save their planet, they would not enlist in the Marines, they would enlist in the Army Guard (or whatever each colony has).
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