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Comments for 'For Every Cowboy . . . [H&R 15]' |
Bean
11:58 am | October 21, 2003
I always read jilly's fan fic on the ff.net so that's why I don't post here offen but all I got to say is jilly your fan fic is the best!
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Mainevent
11:17 am | October 21, 2003
Excellente.
I liked it alot.
Just one of those days:
Check out Elfster's Bungie.net chapter today!
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W1REF1RE
8:45 am | October 20, 2003
Hey Elfster... Read FoR and see how many soldiers were injured by the MC! This is a team... you should be suprised that there wasnt a death. but jillybean hates killing! I think.
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Jillybean
8:36 am | October 20, 2003
Relax kiddos - it's just Sarge's opinion - we wouldn't want to hurt ourselves now, would we?
xxx
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Hawk7886
3:57 am | October 20, 2003
Allow me to translate Sarge's, umm, thing.
'I love this. I think you need to proofread, and say to yourself, "Does this sound right?". You've got alot of choppy sentences that throw off the story. Some don't make much of any sense.'
There. Now HIS post makes sense.
I'm sure Jilly proofreads her stories; they look very professional. Just skimming through the story there were about two sentences or paragraphs that sounded "choppy". I found no sentences that made no sense.
Maybe you don't understand the sentences. Even if you do, that doesn't mean they don't make sense to everyone.
Would you mind posting which sentences disturbed you?
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Myth
7:15 pm | October 19, 2003
bout time you came back, pretty cool keep it up
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Sarge
12:14 pm | October 19, 2003
Decent stories I think you need to read your story proofread, and say to your self does this sound right? You've got alot of choppys sentences that through off the story and some don't make much of any sence.
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Hawk7886
6:47 am | October 19, 2003
The test that the MC and Cortana went through resulted in some Marine injuries . . .
And that was in TFoR . . .
My main complaint: *Whiny Voice* It's too shorrrttt ;)
More! More! More! More! More! More! More! More! More!
10/10
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Elfster
5:49 am | October 19, 2003
Wow. Im surprised that like 20 people havent commented already. Jillybean, I think you could give Wado some competition, and I say that seriously.
Im surprised this isnt getting more attention, but whatever, Wado didn't have a million comments when he started either... And maybe im referencing to him too much.
Anyways, a training exercise where marines get their arms broken freely?
Sorry if im a little too harsh with this but, please, nobody would do a training exercise that includes breaking bones when they need those people to fight soon.
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