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Comments for 'Halo: The Practice' |
MasterCD
6:21 am | March 30, 2004
Not bad...needs some work but sill fairly good. I like seeing the story from someone else's eyes. It's interesting. I just don't understand how he got on the wrong ship? I mean, it's not like there's a intergalactic airport shooting ships off everywhere in Halo.
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Berconius
8:24 pm | April 26, 2003
I concur, you need major work on your theme. The game REALLY doesn't support your story. Your style and language skills is very good. "...stained my nose with vengence..." However, the story went by very quickly and needs alot of factual help.
For example, the Chief only freed one group of 3 marines and Keyes. None of the marines on Truth and Reconciliation had needlers. All the soldiers in Halo appear to be non-coms witht he exception of Capt. Keyes and the technician guys from the first two levels.
Play more, and pay attention to developing your character, he sounds like he shouldn't be a marine.
5/10
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el_halo_diablo
3:34 am | April 26, 2003
Red, People who get spammed and beaten are the ones that go out of their way to make a bad comment. I'm giving constructive criticism here, not some crap like "That story sucked balls". And THAT is why people get spammed and beaten. If you post a few truthful comments once in a while, mabye people wont find you to be abusive yhadda yhadda. Keep workin' Howlin' Jackal.
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John Morris
10:48 pm | April 25, 2003
This is the first story I will give above an 8/ congradulations, there is a little work to be done, but all in all a fantastic read, rivveting. excellent description, my hat is off to you 9/10
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Red
10:21 pm | April 25, 2003
...no comment... People who give bad comments get spammed and beaten, so I won't say anything...
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el_halo_diablo
10:03 pm | April 25, 2003
Not even close to enough effort was used in this story. If you would have written more in the past I would say that this was horrible. More discription, more formatting, and most of all, more effort.
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Steele
7:48 pm | April 25, 2003
8.5/10.
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James Kinsella
1:32 pm | April 25, 2003
Ummm, kinda cool, but I didn't understand how he thought he was going to another ship when there wasn't any other ship in that system.
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