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Comments for 'Alternate Realities - Remora' |
russ687
7:05 pm | June 30, 2004
Don't play that game, it's sooo boring; I was just joking :), but the storyline seemed similar to it.
Hope to see the part out soon.
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Guardian
4:06 pm | June 29, 2004
thanks a lot russ, and actually no i haven't played Space Empires, may be i should go buy it and play it in my free time. and yea, until a few days ago, where i read a few of the fanfictions, by the author who inspired me to write my own, not by telling me, but by his writing. I noticed that the conversation were not in Italics. So yea i do plan on changing that alot. Thanks again for the comment
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russ687
1:32 am | June 29, 2004
The story-line was very different, which is a good thing. By the way, have you ever played Space Empires? :)
First comment: Why do you put italics on your dialgue? Only use it for emphisis or proper names or titles. The only other time you should use it, and this is just a personal view, is when they're talking over a comm. net.
Second: Covenant is alwasy capitalized.
Third: Make sure yo have periods and commas in the text. A few times they were left out completely, but thats just a slight overlook; nothing that can't be easily fixed.
Just a question, but if Humans and the Covenant are now allies, wouldn't the human ships have shields and plasma weapon systems as well? From the Halo books, it is also clear that humans can dramatically improve on Covenant technology. So, human ships should have shielding and plasma systems, and these technologies should in theory be very advanced. I'm pretty sure you didn't mention any of this in the first and second parts of your series, so give it some thought.
I'm really enjoying your story, so keep it up. Remember to proof-read and also think about the effects of the future (i.e. what technolgies are now common, ships bigger (?), etc.). Your story will seem much more complete if you have information to back up question like those.
gg
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Guardian
1:10 am | June 29, 2004
hmmm...i did poorly in a few parts in the story with formatting and spelling, yes that too, thank you all for the comments so far.
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Football Player
8:18 pm | June 28, 2004
I mean spelling, lol.
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FootballPlayer
8:18 pm | June 28, 2004
Good storyine, just work a little on speeling and grammar.
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Void
8:00 pm | June 28, 2004
Interesting....
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