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Comments for 'After First Strike: part three' |
Elliott2020
6:54 pm | June 30, 2004
To everyone,
I made another copy of this story because I forgot to make my other one part of my series.
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Nick Kang
5:02 pm | June 27, 2004
This story has already been posted down below...
NK
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Slit Throat
2:29 am | June 27, 2004
Well, you used the code. There are some other things to take into consideration though:
Start each line of dialogue with a new paragraph. This helps make the story cleaner and easier to understand.
Stick to one tense. You jumped around quite a bit, especially in the beginning.
Marines should be capitalized, as should Helljumpers.
I saw few grammar or spelling errors; that's good.
Overall, I'd say 7/10. Not too bad.
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