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Comments for 'A Desperate Plea (Pt. 1)' |
cory
3:03 am | June 30, 2004
its awesome bryan you are a good writer cant wait for part 2
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Author
2:58 am | June 30, 2004
I thank you for your comments i will work on polishing pt.2. and please stick around to read pt. 2 and comment on anything u want. once again thank you for taking the time to read my work.
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Author
2:58 am | June 30, 2004
I thank you for your comments i will work on polishing pt.2. and please stick around to read pt. 2 and comment on anything u want. once again thank you for taking the time to read my work.
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Young Gunna
3:47 am | June 27, 2004
Lack of detail and short choppy sentences make the story not so good.
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Guardian
1:10 am | June 27, 2004
Suddenly the fifth floor of the building erupts with a brilliant light and sound, spreading the clouds and creating a ditch in the ground. , confused about that part, how does an explosion on the fith floor guessing that is about 25 meters of the the ground or something, create a ditch in the ground?
and following up on Helljumper, and a little bit something else. Use the Code!
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Helljumper
5:42 pm | June 26, 2004
needs a little polishing, but its ok.
ODST
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