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Comments for 'Halo Trilogy: European Road Trip ( Chapter V )' |
J-117
10:42 pm | September 26, 2003
looks like someone got told alpha, nice
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Alpha Lance
7:50 pm | September 26, 2003
That is what I do ForunnER, I highlight it, then I paste it, I do use a spell checker. But thanks for you consideration. And I will keep that in mind about civilians and all of above, and thank you alot FOrunnER.
Anonymous-I know what a trilogy is. And a trilogy isn't three, it is three series, this is the 5th chapter of the 1st series.
Thank you all. Take care.
-Alpha Lance
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Anonymous
7:24 pm | September 26, 2003
dude a trilogy is three
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Anonymous
7:24 pm | September 26, 2003
dude a trilogy is 3
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FOrunnER
2:17 pm | September 26, 2003
Sorry I havn't been commenting on this series, I don't know why. Jake is AWSOME (Jake is my name to ;) There were a few things I found unlikely however. Like that Shadow would let cilivians come with them, even if they were really low on troops, Shadow would most likely say to them 'Stop being idiots and go hide', or something along those lines. UNSC's duty is to protect those guys, not have them fight
There were also grammatical and spelling errors, I suggest you use a spell checker. In case you don't know how I'll tell you (and I'm not being sarcastic). You go to whatever Word program you have and right your story, continually using the spell checker. Then highlight the entire story, go up to options and click COPY. Then come here, click on the area where you would usually submit your story, and click PASTE. Everthing you have written will be on there, including all the mistakes you fixed with the Spell Checker. Hope this helps. Keep em' coming Alpha.
P.S. I'm working on Spartan III's part IV continued as I speak, so be ready when it comes out. (Hey Walker, how come you posted on Alpha's new story and not mine. You dont like my stories anymore WAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! ;)
Peace Out.
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Sim McGaulkin
11:58 am | September 26, 2003
wow... nice story
much better than mine, lol :)
well, my next chapters (two and three) should come out tommorow, so can you read and tell me what are wrond with them?
by the way, you should write more about your uncle.
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Alpha Lance
8:04 pm | September 25, 2003
Thank you very much J. Thanks to all of y'all for actully reading my story. Tkae care all of y'all.
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J-117
2:27 am | September 25, 2003
OMG, that was beautiful man, beautiful and I am honored to be in the presence of a relative of such a great warrior alpha, I am truely honored beyond words...sir
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hornet34
2:20 am | September 25, 2003
Alpha, I think you already know that I'm taking a break from HBO for a while. I don't know when I'll be back, but until then you'll have to find another editor. Sorry. Good luck to everyone else.
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Walker
9:41 pm | September 24, 2003
Truly a great ship named for a great American.
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Walker
9:39 pm | September 24, 2003
Thanks, Alpha.
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Alpha Lance
9:14 pm | September 24, 2003
Thanks Walker, I am very proud of him, and if you do want to learn more about him, type in,
www.msc.navy.mil/N00p/pressrel/press98/press06.htm
And don't worry, he is going to be some more of my stories.
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Walker
8:54 pm | September 24, 2003
Oh, and I just gotta say... a Sig P226? Where'd he get that, a museum? :]
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Walker
8:51 pm | September 24, 2003
Wow, you should put in a bit more of the story about your Uncle. Getting a bullet in the head doesn't get you all that stuff. I want to hear more; this guy is one to be proud of. Also, the story was good, but there a few grammar mistakes. Nothing we can't get over. A lot better than your first stories, for sure. 9.7/10
Semper Fi
-Walker
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Alpha Lance
8:00 pm | September 24, 2003
Thanks everyone, and I glade to hear from you JC. And I got some answere for all of y'all.
JCDenton-I did get that name off of MGS(2). Alot of the characters in my stories are people I know.
Neco-I will keep that in mind, but, I am not a first timer. But thanks any ways.
Hornet-I will contiune to send my storie to you intil I don't need someone checking it.
Sergant B-I got this idea from Saving Private Ryan, like the sniper for intance.
H_K-The reason I pick the Longsword because it is a well more porformence, faster, move easier, well armed.
Thanks everyone for the comments.
P.S. Sorry, I don't have Xbox live.
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,
7:37 pm | September 24, 2003
,
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Neco Divad
6:09 pm | September 24, 2003
It was good, but some things like repotition. Example: "MC ran across the hall, and run into an Elite." It could be "MC ran across the room, and slamed into an Elite." or even "MC sprinted across the long room, slamming head first into an angry Elite."
But other then a few things like that, it was good. Great for a first timer.
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hornet34
3:59 pm | September 24, 2003
Nicely done Alpha. There is still grammatical mistakes we need to work on, but that was a nice improvement. I also like the new ideas and dialogue you added. If you want my help editing in the future I'd be more than happy, but right now I'm swamped in schoolwork, so it could take a while. Keep up the good work.
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SOS.Odin
11:04 am | September 24, 2003
why pelicans. why not just use longswords. :D
id use the longsword cuz its a fighter.
good story
9.8/10
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Hunter_Killer
10:35 am | September 24, 2003
11.1111111111/10!!!!! =)
I also have a question: Why Longswords? Why not just use Pelicans?
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Sergeant B
10:19 am | September 24, 2003
Hey Alpha Lance. NIce story. 9.5/10. Nicely done. BUt your story seemed alittle like a movie sort of.(Don't know if you recognized it, but I did)
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JCDenton
10:06 am | September 24, 2003
wow... thats something. nice story. but hey that ocelot guy... that names from Metal Gear Solid, but its ok. Nice story. keep it up. 9.5/10
and if you want to know... I am back with my story. it will be approved soon.
JCDenton
BTW If you got xbox live, i'd ike to have your gamertag. I got Mech Assault too.
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