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Comments for 'The Tour (part 2)' |
Dispraiser
12:51 pm | March 19, 2003
Still the damn indent problem there... Remember the [indent] tag to increase readability. Again, too many paragraphs, only make a new one when you move onto a new idea or a new speaker... But still worthy of reading unlike some of the crap posted here... Again I can see that you tried to give teh story this tone, but didn't achieve it so vividly as last time. Last time you would have a characters thoughts interrupted by a simple action, like the elevator chiming. Then it would quickly recover to thoughts as if the character hardly cared what was going on around him, only about what he was thinking. Showed that this behind the scenes stuff is important, not worthless...
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Dispraiser
3:58 am | March 19, 2003
No kidding, epsecially on the longs ones... YOu try indenting a 250 kb document (though the post limit keeps it below 32...)... To think that poor Louis had to do this...
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Traumatised Marine
8:10 pm | March 18, 2003
You have to actually have that in text!?
Urgh, inconveniences...
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gruntkiller
7:50 pm | March 18, 2003
thats good to know oh well
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Dispraiser
7:20 pm | March 18, 2003
Gruntkiller, you can indent. You just have to put this tag before it: [INDENT]
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Dispraiser
7:18 pm | March 18, 2003
I know... But I had to have something bad to say... Most peeople don't use the indents (proud to say I do!)... But what else is there? Damn my evil...
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gruntkiller
6:56 pm | March 18, 2003
indent*
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gruntkiller
6:54 pm | March 18, 2003
in the new submitting format you cant indebt stuff
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Traumatised Marine
4:32 pm | March 18, 2003
Okay, okay Dispraiser I'll try to start using the indent key, (even though I've never seen sign of it in other people's fic) I am a bit generous with the paragraphs, but I'd rather have plenty of paragraphs rather than daunting blocks of text that people will be put off of reading.
And how right Gruntkiller is, if authors took the time to read each other's work then you wouldn't get these stories with zippo comments.
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gruntkiller
12:08 pm | March 18, 2003
interesting idea red, my only comment on it is that there needs to be an event to cause the three species to join together (probebly explained in the story so i don't know why i said that)
Shame to see an excellent story like this not recive the attention it deserves, it seems weve gaind authors but lost readers.
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TheRedFaction
8:48 pm | March 17, 2003
Sorry, I accidentally deleted the rating I had given it...
The Tour Parts 1&2 have gained a 10.0 out of a possible 10.0 (each).
TheRedFaction
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TheRedFaction
8:41 pm | March 17, 2003
Aha! See? More Halo + Final Fantasy! I knew it!
::Regains composure::
Anyway, that was pretty good. Very descriptive, gripping, and loaded with everything it needs.
I hope to add to the whole Halo with a taste of Final Fantasy with a new story I've come up with called CR.01: Chaotic Reign Part .01 (Which is a lot of Fantasy).
Preview: The Humans, Covenant, and a new race called the Rankai have joined together in the year 2675 to form an organization called the three Races (Simple, yes I know). Unfortunately, Elder Kaiid-Jahjun, the Covenant leader, wishes to rule all the Races himself in hopes it will bring forth a new order, despite how many laws it will break. And so he chooses to fight the opposing Races to force them to follow his lead...
Coming Soon! (I hope...)
TheRedFaction
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Steele
12:45 pm | March 17, 2003
Still Fighting the Good Fight, I see. I liked the science viewpoint and stuff, even though I'm not a very scientist sort of person. I'm not making the best grades in Earth/Env Science. Who cares about minierals and erosion. (Wish I had a spell checker, I noticed the majority of what I write in these comment blockie-thingy-ma-jigers is spelled wrong...oh well)
I'm thinking of using extremely redesigned Capital Ship weapons in my DOE series.
THe only problem I see is that human scientist would already be hard at work on Covenant weaponry way before The Fall of Reach.
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gruntkiller
12:24 pm | March 17, 2003
i liked it a lot it seems good that sombody is actually trying to explain how the covenant weapons work and the research gone into developing new ones. i liked it.
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