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Comments for 'Rash Decisions-Prologue' |
duckfoot
6:32 pm | June 19, 2004
i think this is (pardon the language) fucking amazing. you've got some good ideas, and a good grip of cliffhangars.
The only mistake I could see that was wrong is the 'vile' part. Vial, which i think you mean, generally means like a test tube or something that holds stuff. Vile is an adjective meaning disgusting or something.
10/10, dude
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LostRock
2:17 pm | June 18, 2004
Potentially good. Taking in the fact that this is your first story, I'd like to say a few things.
--good job remembering to use THE CODE. Nice use of the breaklines.
--Everyone, especially Hayton, seems a bit too giddy. Try to make the story a bit more serious. ONI is probably one of the most serious places in the Haloverse.
--You haven't told us exactly what the heck this Flood monster looks like!
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