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Comments for 'Threat Assasin # 1- Chapter 2- Messing with the wrong person' |
Lone Jackal
4:47 pm | November 8, 2003
I wrote this one fast without thinking to much into it I know it sucks, but I didnt want to next chapter to come out to early without something happening inbetween.
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Mainevent
12:08 pm | November 8, 2003
Someone watches way too much anime.
And terminator.
Check your spelling and sentences before you sumbit next time. There were a couple easily spottable inconsistencies.
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Growup
8:23 am | November 8, 2003
Hey, Mainevent is a perceptive bloke, it does seem as if you've been intravenously drip fed Japanes animation through tubes going into your eyeballs.
I want to say this is crap, but as it happens you seem to have a very good mind for visualising scenes in your head which would look effective on a story board or graphic novel, you just lack a writing style to make your writing effective.
Can you draw? I bet you could churn out some great graphic stories to HBO, but don't waste your time writing- "Robots?" well I suppose it would be alright if this was a B-rate script for some piddling budget-series to be shown before dinner in Ireland, but if you want people to be interested you could have at least given the 'robots' names, even individual designations.
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Mainevent
2:03 am | November 8, 2003
That doesn't mean it's a bad story though.
It was okay, but too much fighting, not enough meat to the story.
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