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Comments for 'Looking Back to Move Foward' |
Rusty Shakalford
12:12 am | May 2, 2003
First of all if you were anonymous then why are you revealing who you are...and why ot the first time you were posting a comment? But, that still dosnt justify why u gave this story a 9/10. If you can give me a reason then i will leve you alone. One better than "u got ranks messed up. There is a 2nd Lt. befour 1st."
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scope
1:35 pm | May 1, 2003
Rusty im sorry jesus!!! I was anonymous by the way.
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Arthur Wellesly
9:50 pm | April 30, 2003
Yea, there's nothing here that I don't agree with... nice work.
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Rusty Shakalford
7:10 pm | April 30, 2003
What is wrong with u man (Anonymous)? How the heck do u know that he wasnt already a 2nd lt.? Of corse u being the genious that wrote this very good story you would know now wouldnt you? 10/10
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Anonymous
7:17 pm | April 29, 2003
9/10 Very nice but u got ranks messed up. There is a 2nd Lt. befour 1st.
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John Morris
3:05 pm | April 29, 2003
Thanks so far, I will change the rifle matter, and in the new post I will explain a bit more on the issue, (he had been excepted to OCS)
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Steele
10:59 am | April 29, 2003
I agree with Berconius. Please get the technatlities straight. A 1st Lieutenant would only be a Company XO or a staff officer. Or it's possible for one to lead a platoon or (if things are really bad) a company. But not a brigade or battalion. 8.5/10, though, keep it up.
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Shadow Spartan
12:02 am | April 29, 2003
i agree dude, Berconius pointed out all the problems...love those emotions, 8.5/10
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Berconius
8:36 pm | April 28, 2003
Terrific, one of the few fanfics that I've seen that actually bother to use emotions. I'd like very much to read more.
Little details to look out for though:
the Assualt rifle is an MA5B, not an M5Ab.
Non-commisioned soldiers are not command leevel personel as you have put it. If your character is supposed to be a 1st LT., then he had to start as a 2nd LT. 2nd Liutenants start off commmanding a platoon. It doesn't make sense to say that your character "eventually" got his command, if he climbed up the ranks, then he is likely to be a first Sergeant or perhaps a master gunnery Sergeant. Just keep the technical details in mind.
Other than that, it's great. 8.5/10
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James Kinsella
7:06 pm | April 28, 2003
Good story. I liked your use of emotions to give the character realism. Keep it up.
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