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Comments for 'In Light of Destiny Part I, Chapter II: Truth' |
Steele
2:00 am | August 10, 2003
Well it just seemed kinda strange. I would have just but something like: Then blackness overcame him. Or something like that. But otherwise the story was really good.
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Jinkaiden-XI
9:59 pm | August 7, 2003
I added the [Fade to black.] because I read one of Wado's stories once and he used it and it added a realistic feeling to it...I guess I was just experimenting with it. I don't know if I've used it in any others, but...
Thanks for the comments, please, keep them coming. I need to know more about what you think.
Jinkaiden-XI
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JCDenton
2:40 pm | August 7, 2003
Great one Jinkaiden XI! I learned something about it too for my story how to build up the sentences. I give you a 10/10 because I really liked it and the questioning thing is nice. and the fading is great, as well how you written the feelings of him. keep it up.
JCDenton
Creator of Halo: The MCconto Chronicles©
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Steele
12:34 am | August 7, 2003
That was good stuff, dude. There was one part that seemed out of place, though. It was where you put in the [Fade to black]. That made it seem kinda like a play or something.
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scope
12:07 am | August 7, 2003
10/10 Jesus christ. That was so beutiful I cried.
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