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Comments for 'The Last Encounter: Chapter 1: The Fall of Earth' |
Mastergrunt
11:49 am | July 16, 2004
Wether you are ss or not doesn't matter because either way you still have the I.Q. of an ameba(begins to go berserk and charges after ss with chain-saw) Muahahahahahahahahahahaahaha!!!
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Mastergrunt
11:49 am | July 16, 2004
Wether you are ss or not doesn't matter because either way you still have the I.Q. of an ameba(begins to go berserk and charges after ss with chain-saw) Muahahahahahahahahahahaahaha!!!
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Mastergrunt
11:49 am | July 16, 2004
Wether you are ss or not doesn't matter because either way you still have the I.Q. of an ameba(begins to go berserk and charges after ss with chain-saw) Muahahahahahahahahahahaahaha!!!
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Noobasaurus Rexy
6:21 am | July 16, 2004
Whoops, spelt name wrong...heh...
Rexy (Jess)
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Noobasurus Rexy
6:20 am | July 16, 2004
Uh Huh..don't you feel special that you have DSL...well, i have Cable...beat that...^.^, oh btw everybody else, i just submitted Chapter Two...Hope Ya'll like it...
Rexy (Jess)
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Spansih Spartan
6:45 pm | July 15, 2004
I/m doing this becuz u guys CAN NEVER BAN ME COMPLETEY!
I GOT DSL ILL JUST SWITCH MY IP!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
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Nick Kang
11:02 am | July 15, 2004
No you're not. spanish spartan isn't capitalized. PLus your name is spelled incorrectly.
NK
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Spanhish Spartan
3:18 pm | July 14, 2004
guess what bithces, im backk
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Nick Kang
11:02 am | July 14, 2004
Yeah, miniguns don't need a big, complex engine. They need a simple electric motor with enough power to spin the axle, while the barrel spits out the ammo. It's not really that complex.
NK
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Jessica
5:18 am | July 14, 2004
Hehehe...
Jess
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Berconius
2:51 am | July 14, 2004
Minigun not real?? Wow, take physics before you say that and try not to commit suicide for shame... don't underestimate the power of a two very strong electromagnets. I think that's how we make electric motors. And obviously alternator stuff and such but I can't remember much anymore. Actually...I kinda remember something about running a current between the two and it makes the magnetic field push the metal axle around...or something.
But anyway, the Predator movie exists as I have seen it in person, and the minigun in there was realistic.
What is it with the appearance of the n00bs? Dave Li, Spanish Spartan? I mean, new people are great, but why the hate? Is it surge from the oncoming of Halo 2? The E3 releases? Halo is cheaper now? Confuzzling...
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Nick Kang
11:40 am | July 13, 2004
I think respect is out of the question by now. Besides, ss got banned :D
NK
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romac1991
11:33 am | July 13, 2004
Well...if someone is doing that to your story, then don't do it on me. I saw your comment on my other story and i believe it went something like this:
Hahahahahaha
Die you stupid SPARTAN IIIs. It took reach to train the SPARTAN IIs and they were a failure. Except for the Master Chief of course. This is not a predator movie so don't ever mention the minigun crap again. They require a HUGE motor that in the predator movie seemed way too small. Do you think Earth has the time to train SPARTANS? You suck
Well within that stupid useless paragraph, you provided no help or tips for me whatsoever, and you even were nice enough to inform me that i suck. Are you Spanish Spartan, at your friends house or something? Anyways, please use civilized comments.
romac1991
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AmokTheClown
5:13 am | July 13, 2004
hello to everyone. and Female_Marine
welcome to the site... i've been around a while, and even poke my head up from time to time....
anyway, nice story... i won't nit pick, but need more detail in the fleet battle, they're so cool, and you kind of blew it, but learning from mistakes is what makes stories better...
evidently some people don't... like Spanish Spartan. you are so cool, i wish i could be like you... wait, shit, sorry, i meant your a fucking cockmonkey... how did that compliment get in there...? meh, oh well. maybe when they decode the human genome, they'll find out why your such a fuckup... or monkey genome, i don't know. but insults aside, lets grow up for a second, cockmomkey... get a life.
leave everyone alone... and people might respect you
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Jessica
2:22 am | July 13, 2004
Whoa, i think DL needs Anger Management classes...
Jess
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Jessica
2:20 am | July 13, 2004
No, Female_Marine and me are two totally different people...
Jess
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Nick Kang
12:05 am | July 13, 2004
Hey David Li...weren't you the one that wrote that horrible War of the Grunts story in February? That story sucked.
NK
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David Li
8:58 pm | July 12, 2004
The Fall of Earth!
Stupid title. Humans are way overestimated. How the hell can 500 ships kill so many covenant ships? Wouldn't Spartan 117 be dead if the ships were in plain sight? And on the next part you better put Chief as in the trailer. Jumping off his ship to land on a covenant ship. I hope you saw that. Didn't fall of reach have those nuclear missiles and where the hell have the archer missiles go before the MAC rounds.
Sorry I have been a little tough. But people have done to the same to my pieces of shit! I even think that.
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OpeningAct
5:09 pm | July 12, 2004
Pretty good story romac and jessiaca. Nice job!
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Severian
4:50 pm | July 12, 2004
Hmm... Female_Marine, are you Jessica too?
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dave
11:44 am | July 12, 2004
hey theres another dave here.... well anyways that was a good story despite the troubles of two authors. a little more detail might not be bad, but it was still good.
and spanish spartan, will you just shut up. if you think this story was so bad, id like to see you write your own.
-the other dave
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romac1991
11:20 am | July 12, 2004
I would appreciate it if you guys could comment on my story, escpecially Spanish Spartan. Please.
thanks
romac1991
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Jessica
11:17 am | July 12, 2004
Wow spartan, you're such a big boy...you can insult people...unsucessfully
Jess
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Jessica
7:06 am | July 12, 2004
Btw, i have no clue what spanish spartan has against me...he just sorta came outta nowhere and started insulting me, but you guys can leave him alone, he can say what he wants...doesn't bother me...if it bothers you, by all means, insult him...but if he doesn't, then just leave him alone, he'll leave soon enough if he realizes that nobody really gives half a rat's ass about what he's saying to other people...
Jess
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Jessica
7:03 am | July 12, 2004
Yes he is Female_Marine...Bernocius, i meant to change that, but romac subbmitted it before i got the second revised copy back to him...oh well, the next one will be better looked over, and better communication between us two...btw romac, when do you want to story by? I should be able to get it to you either tomorrow or the day after that...i'm just kinda busy right now, working, partying, trying to fix my PC, cleaning up my house, ain't all that easy to manage all at once...heh ^.^
Jess
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Berconius
5:45 am | July 12, 2004
Ah, for christ sake, Spanish Spartan, just cut it already. What is this you have against Jess? Who started this anyway??
Anyway, my comments on the STORY are down below, and I guess I'll adjust it a little since I didn't know they beefed up the Earth orbitals.
If they had bigger orbital defenses, wouldn't the remaining fleet try to fight with as much help as possible? Like, engaging with a combined barrage from both platform and ship guns? it'd be pretty hard for the covies to dodge that.
Well, I guess I draged that thread out long enough. Just keep an eye on your tactics and be realitic. No super troops and ships that cut bloody, plasma spewing troughs through the covies since no human ships do that. Unless they fit a big Iridium plow on a ship the size of a Star Destroyer and move it at about 50 PSL through the covenant formation straight at the Flagships. But that's just crazy.
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GangstaPimpDaddy
3:11 am | July 12, 2004
Spanish Faggot needs to get the fuck off my comments page fore I take his moms dildo shoved up his ass and shoe it down his spanish throat. too bad he would enjoy that. Biatch
*GangstaPimpDaddy*
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343 Salty Beans
2:36 am | July 12, 2004
That last comment was directed at Spanish Spartan and his cardboard armor. Anyhoo, good writing...I stick with what most people said. It's nice to see a female writer-they usually have different viewpoints than the guys.
I really hope Wu edits this comments page; it would do the world a real favor to not see you around, SS.
343SB
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343 Salty Beans
2:35 am | July 12, 2004
I think the work of insulting you is well-done by most other people. Please refer to my comment on the story above this before shoving your nuts in the gears of a combine.
343SB
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Female_Marine
2:09 am | July 12, 2004
A woman hater? Is he............
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Jessica
1:53 am | July 12, 2004
Ahh, hi Female_Marine...Welcome to HBO..Psst, beware of spanish spartan, he's a woman hater...Gay-Faggot
Jess
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Jessica
1:51 am | July 12, 2004
Thanks for the comments everybody...^.^
Jess
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Female_Marine
1:08 am | July 12, 2004
hello everyone I'm new
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Red Ghost
9:59 pm | July 11, 2004
Hmm...you know, all this personal fighting reminds of the young and the restless...er, I mean...(cough)...ahem, good job jess and romac.
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D Piddy
6:52 pm | July 11, 2004
D Piddy WILL kill ss!
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Nick Kang
6:27 pm | July 11, 2004
Well what kinda name is spanish spartan? I hope your parents didn't give it to you. And of you made it up you're a retard. Wait, you already ARE a retard.
NK
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Mainevent
4:46 pm | July 11, 2004
In First Strike they were building another set of orbitals around the already large set of orbitals around Earth.
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spanish spartan
4:06 pm | July 11, 2004
fuck jess too
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spanish spartan
4:06 pm | July 11, 2004
what type of name is nick kang. I hope your parents didnt give that to you, and if you made it up, you are the retard. How could you keep that name. I cant beleive you thik its cool. The kang famil? What a load of bitches. FUCK U, HELLJUPER, and ajax. you bitches.
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Nick Kang
12:38 pm | July 11, 2004
Yeah, Spick, YOU RETARD. I was never for gay marriages...I see you were. Either that or you're some kinda young punkass gangster that hasn't started liking girls yet.
NK
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Nick Kang
11:51 am | July 11, 2004
Wow that narrows it down a LOT. Is it the Jolly Green Giant? Or Hulk? I'm stumped.
And be on the look out for sexist spartan. Now that Jessica and romac have a story out, he's bound to pop up somewhere.
NK
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romac1991
11:20 am | July 11, 2004
Oh, this will be in the perspective of someone. I'll just say they are green and big.
romac1991
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romac1991
11:18 am | July 11, 2004
Thanks guys. Me and Jess worked out a plan, I wrote the first chapter, and she corrected it. She wrote the second chapter and I correct it.
romac1991
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Dave Luck
11:11 am | July 11, 2004
Well, Jess, you've done yourself proud. You deserve a good, old "Well Done."
Only one small error, a 'was' instead of a 'were' but that's fine. The rest is good.
Awesome-Excellent. You must have really worked on it.
- Dave.
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Severian
11:09 am | July 11, 2004
See, romac DID deserve a second chance after all... I think it's a good job, well done. Same to you to, Jessica.
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romac1991
10:55 am | July 11, 2004
Spanish Spartan,
would you mind not spamming, I kind wanted feedback. Thanks.
romac1991
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Jessica
8:47 am | July 11, 2004
spartan, you really need some new insults...
Jess
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Jessica
8:22 am | July 11, 2004
Lmao Ajax...
Jess
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Jessica
8:20 am | July 11, 2004
Meh, do what you want spartan...i really couldn't care less...And no, it's not Reptar...
Jess
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Gemmima
7:33 am | July 11, 2004
Someone big and green? It's not Reptar from that kids show Rugrats is it? He was green...with purple spots...
:p
Great story Jess & Romac!
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Helljumper
4:42 am | July 11, 2004
I'm with russ
ODST
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Ajax
3:39 am | July 11, 2004
lol Slit Throat.
Spick: It must suck to have no friends AND no talent. And if you're anti-women, you might be gay too... what a horrible combination.
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Slit Throat
3:30 am | July 11, 2004
Well, not all wishes come true.
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spanish spartan
3:12 am | July 11, 2004
WOW someone thought i was banned. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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spanish spartan
3:09 am | July 11, 2004
I think a few people missed me.
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spanish spartan
3:09 am | July 11, 2004
I'm right here baby. You miss me? Its nice to see 2 people i hate doing the same story.
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Jessica
2:06 am | July 11, 2004
What did happen to spanish spartan...
Jess
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Mastergrunt
1:50 am | July 11, 2004
Sorry for double post.
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Mastergrunt
1:44 am | July 11, 2004
Heh, heh, heh. Does anybody notice anything peculiar. SPANISH SPARTAN DIDN'T POST(at least not yet, and that's a suprise considering how much he hates Jessica.) And who knows maybe he was banned?
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Mastergrunt
1:44 am | July 11, 2004
Heh, heh, heh. Does anybody notice anything peculiar. SPANISH SPARTAN DIDN'T POST(at least not yet, and that's a suprise considering how much he hates Jessica)
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Severian
1:24 am | July 11, 2004
romac, I'm really glad that you're not hyper-ventilating or ranting anymore.
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Berconius
12:36 am | July 11, 2004
Hmm, is it Baby Bop from Barney? She was green...if a little purple. And there WAS something about her voice that creeped me out.
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Jessica
12:34 am | July 11, 2004
Ahahaha, the Jolly Green Giant or the Hulk...Muhahahah! You'll never find out...until i write the second part...heh...
Jess
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Berconius
12:34 am | July 11, 2004
Err, keep going, this sounds good anyway!
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Jessica
12:32 am | July 11, 2004
Thanks Guys...btw romac, when do you want the second part done by?
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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Berconius
12:09 am | July 11, 2004
Hoooo-boy, I feel guilty about this now...
I actually didn't like it that much. I mean, I enjoy fleet battles as much as the next guy but...this was really like a history book.
And as for realism, Earth defenses are actually weaker than Reach's. Remember, Reach was where all our beef was. When Reach fell, Earth wasn't too far behind. To begin with, if the covenant sent a fleet bigger than our 500 ships, they would've blown the hell out of our fleet and platforms a lot more easily than that. Recall that our first victory against the Covies in space occurred when we outnumbered them like 3 to 1 or maybe 5 to 1. They still ripped us a new one. In those situations, we used our construction platforms as massive shields to buy ourselves more time to fire and charge MAC rounds.
Also, Human ships don't have shields...I think I got a little confused in there about whether some of the failing shields belonged to human or Covenant ships.
Also keep in mind the amount of man power we lost at Reach. Even if we could scramble a fleet together to Earth, we already got ourselves pretty thoroughly licked when Reach fell. Yeah, we could put SOMETHING big together for Earth's defense, but it wouldn't be any more spectacular than Reach. Reach was very defensible in that it had large Titanium deposits, making it easier for us to build stuff right around it's orbit, rather than shipping materials to it. Also, since it had large Titanium deposits, it was all the more reason to give it better defenses than Earth.
Overall, you'd think we'd have just sent a large barrage of long ranged missles including nukes as soon as they cleared Mars. Also, why makes Super MACs that can't engage the enemy until your fleet is toast? They would've been going all along just like at Reach. Ditto on Nukes. Before the fleet gets within close range, nuke them and pound them with long range MAC guns. It beats nuking them within our lunar perimeter and fighting them in phases.
Also, wouldn't we have likely built defenses on the moon as well? When they got within the lunar perimeter, it probably would've made sense to open up on them with a heavy cannonade from moon based platforms. A Moon based platform also has the advantage of not being blasted from behind. They would have to blast the moon straight through to do that. Moon also makes for a good place to hide a reserve fleet to flank them with once they start engaging the platforms. One that doesn't even need Slip space drives.
I'd guess that you've already read the Fall of Reach so just look back on it for Fleet tactics.
Don't mean to flame anyone here, just putting in my thoughts. Sorry if you're offended! 7/10
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Halo master
10:51 pm | July 10, 2004
Not talking about the story, I was talking about some comment that was wrote under your name.
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Guardian
8:38 pm | July 10, 2004
Nice, i like it, however, it would seem, that earth's orbital platform defenses were a little, weak and the battle went by way to quickly. Keep working on it.
9.3/10
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russ687
8:18 pm | July 10, 2004
The formating was good, the spelling was good, and punctuation and grammer good...
But the story was overall less-then-superb. I didn't like how you portrayed the human fleet as helpless; in my mind I always figured that Earth wold have the most kick-ass fleet, with kick-ass super MAC platforms surrounding, etc. I'd even figure Mars would have adequate defenses (since logically that would be the second planet to be colonized).
Also, the inital Covenant fleet disappeared too quickly. You said this fleet was monsterious compared to the 500 UNSC ships, yet they seemed to get destroyed in a blink of the eye.
I understand that the Covenant will ultimentaly win the battle over Earth (since they far outnumber humans in ships), but please let the UNSC put up a better fight. From the outcome at Reach, Humans would do some serious reinforcing (not to mention Earth was probably ten times more reinforced that Reach ever was). Also, the story seemed distant and undetailed, maybe becuase there were no characters to relate to.
Over all 7/10 because of the reasons above. (I'm assuming it is difficult to write stories with two authors, but I'd still expect a little more. Sorry if this was a little harsh.)
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Halo master
7:33 pm | July 10, 2004
Plllllllease tell me you did not write that, Jessica. My jaw is still dropped....
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CoLd BlooDed
7:08 pm | July 10, 2004
Wow, good job you guys. This is probably one of the several stories that turned out successfully when two people did them together. For this, I applaud you; congrats romac and Jessica, I'd like to see where this is going.
Yes, like Nick said, it could use a tad more bit of detail, just to spice it up a bit. I liked how the beginning started, and it was intriguing enough to get me going.
So, romac, what has happened on other comment pages, I'd just like to say that I hope we can start over. :D Keep it up.
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Ishkabibbl
6:48 pm | July 10, 2004
Better then most, worse then some.
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Nick Kang
2:02 pm | July 10, 2004
You can always resubmit it after it's edited...I think...
It was pretty cool, although it creates more tension if you're telling the story through someone's eyes, such as a Longsword pilot or ship captain. It also could have used a bit more detail.
NK
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romac1991
1:19 pm | July 10, 2004
Sorry jess, I thought it wasn't working on my computer and i accidentally sent it in. Sorry we didn't get your re edidted version in. :(
romac1991
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Jessi-Kins
1:08 pm | July 10, 2004
Eep! You submitted it? I thought i was going to...i re-edited it again...Poo...oh well...
JeSsI-kInS ^.^
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