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Comments for 'The Hell Of War Through The Eyes Of A Marine, Part 12: The Last Battle' |
Anonymous
6:59 am | May 24, 2004
UNCENSORED Black
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The Lost Spartan
5:17 am | June 7, 2002
explosion got to*
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The Lost Spartan
5:11 am | June 7, 2002
You should have made him crawl to a banshee and fly away before the explosian ot to him so you could keep on. And GRAMMER needs polishing. The series was great loved it. Great. Encore!
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Vero
4:19 pm | May 29, 2002
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!Not J.D. Haha, very awesome series,hope you keep more stories coming. Maybe you could make a story of Sara and the sniper.Keep your awesome stories coming:)
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Robo42786
9:05 pm | May 27, 2002
what is borvo? by the way his story has plenty of detail badder boy and if you read down you will see that a comment about punctuation. learn to s-p-e-l-l
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agsbladerboy55
7:50 pm | May 27, 2002
very very good an increbible story line just like myself a little more punctuation and more detail all in all very good stroy brovo
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Sarge
8:45 pm | May 26, 2002
GoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO00000000d...okay I posted. Good story not to much to flame about ;\\
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Jaywhit10
5:18 pm | May 26, 2002
K thanks for those interesting and enlighting comments...... okay. Alright wil anyone else post some comments
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TrueNike
12:29 pm | May 26, 2002
Oh, ok. It's the mechanics. That helps.
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TrueNike
12:23 pm | May 26, 2002
I agree with Gordi, but didn't Jaywhit10 say he didn't want comments on his style of writing[or whatever its called]. A good story indeed, it's just to bad that J.D had to die.
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Gordi
5:26 am | May 26, 2002
Like the storyline, just a few things.Punctuation - learn it, live it, love it. Proofread before submitting, you'll catch all these amazing little errors you never knew existed. I wish I could be more specific, but the way I write, and proofread is so totally unlike anyone else I've ever met, it would just make your brain melt ;)Also, try to avoid redundancy, it doesn't sound as "professional." What I mean by this is that using the same words in close proximity (or the same phrase) automatically drops the quality of writing. Exempli gratia: "The man went to the store to get the jug of milk and some bread from the bread counter." Holy crap does that sound bad or what?! "Going over his list, Spider Man found that he only needed a few things from the store; a jug of milk to keep his spider-bones strong; and some bread, well, just because bread rocks!" Ok, so that's not so great either, but you get my point.Story's great, just the mechanics need a little polishing.
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Jaywhit10
12:00 am | May 26, 2002
Thanks and I have no idea but im almost done with the prologue for it. I need more people to post comments on my last part. Thanks
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ssjbrk
3:03 am | May 25, 2002
Great series, good ending too
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Robo42786
12:07 am | May 25, 2002
two series end and two begin, whats gonna be the name of your next one jay?
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agsbladerboy55
8:27 pm | May 24, 2002
Brovo!Brovo! very nice series enjoyed it alot. Keep em comin jay. God damn the golden elite
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