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Comments for 'Last stand part 3' |
Dispraiser
1:53 am | April 3, 2003
Do you want me to hate you? Is that what you want? Because you are going the right way to do that. I am not in this fanfic! You do not say you, you say ____. Damn people... Overpopulation is killing the world...
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Matt
3:34 pm | April 2, 2003
The story would be much better if it was not told in the 3rd person view. the writer says "you" to much.Eg: You jump out of your bunk as quickly as you can,..."
you have this, and you do that.
I would suggest telling the story from a different perspective.
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