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Comments for 'Unstable Territory: Part 1: A fierce battle' |
Nick Kang
3:43 pm | April 28, 2004
I enjoyed the inventory-ish thing at the beginning, and you do need to work on the dialogue a bit, but it was worth the read.
NK
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Nick Kang
9:36 pm | April 27, 2004
Have you ever seen 'Saving Private Ryan'? If you have, those big cement square building with slots in the front are bunkers.
NK
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Helljumper
3:32 pm | April 27, 2004
wow mainevent, that whole comment was an oxymoron. "the whole story seems phony"
"other than that, its good"
lol
ODST
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Helljumper
11:35 am | April 27, 2004
Drill Sergeants are at basic training not on combat operations. It was a good story, u need to work on the dialogue in terms of realism and try to make the combat more descriptive.
ODST
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Mainevent
1:48 am | April 27, 2004
You could have a former drill sergeant on a combat operation, but not a practicing drill sergeant.
And yea, the dialogue was a wee bit phony. Work on that. Dialogue seems phony and the whole story seems phony.
Other than that, its good.
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