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Comments for '5 Way War Part VI: unwelcome neighbors' |
The Real Demosthenes
10:36 pm | January 16, 2004
Tips for all who live all but wise lives:
1. Don't use names that you have no experience and/or skill to take up.
2. If you are going to attempt to use such articulate and experiences names (such as Locke or Demosthenes of the Ender's Game series), try not to be so Korean, and speak proper English.
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Demosthenes
12:29 pm | March 15, 2003
Actually, now that I think of it, Dispraiser didn't have the same complaint. He never said anything about that. I'm now guessing that it was JUST you.... Wierd.... Oh well....
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Demosthenes
12:22 pm | March 15, 2003
When I proofed it it wasn't like that. When it had Alvy going to kill REdo and it said .Said Juan, Juan had said not to kill him, but instead get Senna (in different wording of course.)I forgot what Shniel said, I think it was something about "remember this" and then Redo remembered the dream. Anyhow, it must have been one of the bugs. (remeber, there were bugs in the new fanfic form, but now most of them are fixed) but I promise you It wasn't like that when I proofed it. Sorry about that all, it was a complete mistake.SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!! (i hate those bugs) It took me a day and lots of e-mails to Louis to get Ch. 2 of sixway war to work, then Louis discovered there were bugs. Hope you weren't too confused.
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Locke
4:29 pm | March 14, 2003
Good, but very jumbled at some parts. Many mistaked were so obvious that i can't believe you didn't notice them when you proofred your story!(you DO do that, right?)Of all the content in your story, i found this section the MOST confusing. Read it and you'll see what i'm talking about!
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. One of the exquisitely robed forerunners said to him suddenly the memory of Redo's dream from years before popped into his mind.
" GET OUT!!" Redo screamed.
" GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!!" He screamed. Said Shniel. Alvy stood up and started walking towards Redo, ready to kill. said Juan in his COM channel. said Alvy, confused. answered Alvy, still confused. Alvy ran and did as he was told, while Redo still screamed at the Shoguns. He walked outside, and began checking all of the human Spartan corpses. He found the one of Senna and carried it back into the room. Redo was still on his knees, no longer screaming, just weeping.
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Dispraiser
4:09 am | March 10, 2003
But it's not that I don't like it, but Demothesis means 5 way war, and not six for some reason... Plus, five, ten and any number ending in 0 or 5 must be magical.
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Dispraiser
4:09 am | March 10, 2003
I always hate sequels. It's why I haven't written up a Starjacked Two yet. It might be a lot alike, but it isn't the same...
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Demosthenes
11:57 pm | March 9, 2003
I counted it for both, and also, It was supposed to be one part, but it was too big for the new form ( must be less than 32 kb) so I split it up.
Also, dis, I already sent in Ch 2 of 6 way war. It will be on tommarrow. ALso, what do you not like about 6 way war, it's the same story.
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DIspraiser
7:57 pm | March 9, 2003
Arg, finished... Well... I really don't have much to say, but again, nice job, keeping pretty consistant with the others. Had fewer typoes that I noticed, and I have no complaints... Besides that yous hould continue this one! Dammit! I like the five way war better than six... Make, like, the five and a half way war... By the way, this post speaks for botht eh parts, I think that this one is in the last part... But anyway, if it is in the wrong part... well, count it for both...
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Demosthenes
1:54 am | March 9, 2003
Ahhh.... glad to finally finish this series. I am so glad I'm finally finished. Tell me what you think of these last two parts. Thanks.
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