 |
About This Site
Daily Musings
News
News Archive
Site Resources
FAQ
Screenshots
Concept Art
Halo 2 Updates
Interviews
Movies
Music
Miscellaneous
Mailbag
HBO PAL
Game Fun
The Halo Story
Tips and Tricks
Fan Creations
Wallpaper
Misc. Art
Fan Fiction
Comics
Logos
Banners
Press Coverage
Halo Reviews
Halo 2 Previews
Press Scans
Community
HBO Forum
Clan HBO Forum
HBO IRC Channel
Links
Admin
Submissions
FTP Uploads
HTTP Uploads
Contact
|
|
|
Comments for 'The Hephaestus Equation I' |
Lord Dagon
12:33 pm | November 3, 2002
Nice story... Well done... I wish I had the descripitive talents you have, aside from the minor paragraph issue; I would say a well constructed piece of work...
|
Dirty Commie
8:39 pm | October 30, 2002
I hate paragraphs. I used to write entire papers (up till high school) in one paragraph because I hated messing with them. The streak continues!Ah well, thanks for the advice and I guess I will be writing some sequels, but i have very little time for writing due to school, computer CONSTANTLY broken, brothers, etc. But they're coming, eventually.
|
Wado
5:28 am | October 30, 2002
Ditto on what havok said. I had problems reading this story because so many different ideas were presented with the same paragraph. Try starting a new paragraph when the point of view changes or when the idea changes. For instance, when changing from one enemy to the next, make those two separate paragraphs -- Otherwise, the story feels rushed.On the other hand, you really do seem to have a talent for descriptions. Very nice job and I hope to see more from you.
|
Dirty Commie
8:06 pm | October 29, 2002
gotcha
|
havok
11:28 pm | October 28, 2002
you got some good action going here. try to space out your story with more paragraphs. i learned that from my helljumper series. everything was scrunched into like three paragraphs and everything just went to fast. the paragraphs space it out a little bit
|
|
