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Comments for 'Return to Earth (Chptr 1: Attacked)' |
Frost Bite
1:51 am | May 21, 2004
:) Returning the favor Cold (:
Very nice story. I personally like having fairly vauge discriptions of deaths... it lets my imagination have fun. I personally like your style, ever think of writing pro?
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Alpha Lance
5:29 am | July 27, 2003
European roadtripe,not bad little man.
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Kaboose29 (a.k.a. Spookybanana29)
1:53 pm | July 22, 2003
This was pretty good...although you could add a bit more suspense and more gore..lol
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pooman
8:44 pm | July 21, 2003
haha im only 13
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Wiley
6:36 pm | July 21, 2003
Cool, need work on grammer, tho. But since you're 12 i'll let it slide.
9/10
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Da Mann
6:03 pm | July 21, 2003
Nice! (Deserts in Brazil and seeing the moon and stars at 11 in the morning are a little mystic.)
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Da Mann
6:03 pm | July 21, 2003
But keep working at it kid, it loks like you've got a future in writing.
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Steele
3:16 pm | July 21, 2003
Not too shabby. The main problem is grammar, but since you're only 12 you probably haven't taken English 1 yet.
I have a B.net account.
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Vege7a
11:47 am | July 21, 2003
Man, that was good. Hey CoLD BlooDed. do you have a Bungie.net account? If you do then please join my chapter: 7th Column Writers. We're all about writing Halo stories, and a couple of us, [including me,] are about your age. :]
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Vege7a
11:47 am | July 21, 2003
Man, that was good. Hey CoLD BlooDed. do you have a Bungie.net account? If you do then please join my chapter: 7th Column Writers. We're all about writing Halo stories, and a couple of us, [including me,] are about your age. :]
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CoLD BlooDed
7:51 pm | July 20, 2003
Thx man, this is my first story ever, I'm only 12 to so that may have a little to do with it. My next story hopefully will be there tomorrow, longer, but not as much action, the last part of the story will hint that there is a big battle going on in the third chapter, read it and you'll find out! CoLD BlooDed
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pj-NYkr90
7:15 pm | July 20, 2003
First story right? It was good. Gory, that's what I like in a story. There was room for improvement (preferably, more gore). It could have been longer and a bit more suspenseful. I give it an 8/10.
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