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Comments for 'The Strive to Survive (Chapter 1: Lurking in the Shadows)' |
Hell Starter -- Justin
2:10 pm | March 21, 2004
Nice story, but the flood are going to get out if they want to, its inevitable. and the ONI area assholes. But great story, i just put mine out yesterday
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CoLd BlooDed
2:21 am | February 22, 2004
Lol, well, two should be out today (which is sunday)...
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SЭЯGЭΛNT Β
1:52 am | February 22, 2004
Dunno. Someone gave me it, but I find out that its mispelled. I'll fix that...*fixes it using telekeneses*
Equals: SЭЯGЭΛNT Β la la. Well, can't wait to see chapter two and three and four and five and six and seven and eight and nine and ten!
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CoLd BlooDed
4:56 am | February 19, 2004
Thanks as well Delta, and yeah, I reread it and said to myself, "This is kinda jerky."
I don't do it that often, maybe its just because its the first of the series, so I'll work on it.
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CoLd BlooDed
4:25 am | February 19, 2004
Thanks ONI, and no problem. :D
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IAmDelta
4:14 am | February 19, 2004
Very nice. You don't take a break do you? Seems like another promising series. I wasn't going to say anything, but since MCC already mentioned it... Your writing is very good, and formatted very well. MCC's "side detail" is just one of many things which make a story FLOW better. If you have action, background, action, background, etc., the story becomes jerky because the momentum is constantly changing. This makes it harder to read. But if it is all interwoven, then the momentum is steady and changes steadily when you want it to. This makes it much easier to read. Does that make sense? You've been around for a while, but one can always improve. I think this is what MCC was getting at. And if not...well its still good advice. But beyond that, it was very good. Keep up the good work.
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ONI_operative_343
11:48 pm | February 18, 2004
to CoLd BlooDed: damn, u gets lots of traffic round here
thankx for the comment, lookin forward to the rest of ur stuff
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CoLd BlooDed
11:08 pm | February 18, 2004
What? You're leaving the FanFiction world? No!
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Walker
10:47 pm | February 18, 2004
Twas good, but don't count on my religious following of this series. Flood stories freak me out, and I'm waaaaaay behind on my own stories. Gotta wrap up my ASOWE part (it's gonna be short) and finish COTGB (Almost done with second-to-last chapter, gotta write last chapter and epilogue) and then I'm going to submit my last series. When Halo 2 comes out I'll be back for more, but, then again, when that happens none of "the old crowd" will probably be here.
My departure is imminent.
-Walker
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CoLd BlooDed
6:47 pm | February 18, 2004
Lol, thanks Awacar, and I also thank you to MCC for explaining that. I will try and work on that for the next chapter, and in case you didn't know, what I meant by the chapter was that the Flood "lurk in the depths", not that they had already been released when the Prowlers had landed.
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MC's Cousin
3:08 pm | February 18, 2004
Side detail? Well let me try to explain. I've always like to call it that. Well, I guess you could also call it big and small defining details. You know, little details on the side that tie people (and other random objects [ships for instance]) and the whole story together. I'll tell you what I mean: don't just place a desciptive paragraph in the story somewhere, tie it in with components of the story, and pieces of the character. Make more sence? If not, ask about what remains blurry.
Signing Off
MCC
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Awacar
1:14 pm | February 18, 2004
Waiting for the next chapter, of course.
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Awacar
1:12 pm | February 18, 2004
Damn you CoLd, damn you. After reading this I'm waiting like a child for christmas. The ending... it almost made me addicted.
And, by the way, good story.
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CoLd BlooDed
4:48 am | February 18, 2004
To Odin, there were two officers, and sorry I haven't been replying but I'm currently on Vancouver Island using a MAC! AGGHH!
Dial-up too. :( And to MCC, can you be a little more descriptive on what you mean by "side detail"? Never actually heard of that... Thanks. :D
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FOrunnER
2:55 am | February 18, 2004
to ONI_Operitave_343: No problem, just make sure to read my stuff to ;)
to Seargent B: How did you do all the wierd letter thingies to your name?
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SЭΛЯGЭΛNT Β
1:09 am | February 18, 2004
I used to be Sergeant B but I got bored, so now I'm SЭΛЯGЭΛNT Β. Well, hey guys, you know, I edited the story of Mr. BLood COld!
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SOS.Odin
10:38 pm | February 17, 2004
great story cold
gonna be a perty good series
and just wonderin...
did that major just
transform into a colonel
while they were talkin
or were there two officers there
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Helljumper
8:35 pm | February 17, 2004
This is gonna be a good story.
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ONI_operative_343 to FOrunnER
12:15 pm | February 17, 2004
i keep running into you. first my story, now this one.
anyway, i agree, if its a mutated comabt form, theres gotta be a host.
thankx for the comment on my story, too
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MC's Cousin
10:52 pm | February 16, 2004
It was good, but I still can find fault. Not that it wasn't lacking of goodness. But, unless someone had released the flood, the wouldn't smell blood or move about below the surface. And I don't care how mnay ONI b* are walkin around, if the flood are lurcking in the shadows of Halo (even 07) the'll get out when they wanna.
Also, you move too fast and are to "up-front-descriptive". More side detail and things that make me want to keep reading are what you need to add.
Signing Off
MCC
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FOrunnER to a unknown person
10:48 pm | February 16, 2004
Actually thats debatable. In Halo: TF they said that only Grunts and Jackals were turned into Carrier forms, however in Halo: FS they said that they were warrior forms that later turned into Carrier forms.
I tend to stick with the theory that Carrier forms are the after-effect of a warrior form. Either way, it means that there had to be a source host for the carrier, so obviously there are Covenant on the ring, or at least unfortunate human scientists right Cold?
Oh, and good story.
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a unknown person
7:36 pm | February 16, 2004
Warrior Flood eventually mutate into Carrier forms so yes they are natural.
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'Nosolee
7:36 pm | February 16, 2004
Nice, nice.
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ONI_operative_343
6:40 pm | February 16, 2004
very sweet, cant wait for more
one question though- do we know that carriers are natural flood?
i thought there was speculation b/c of they way the explode... i always thought they were mutated grunts.
who knows. anyway, kickass story.
now read mine ;)
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