Going the Distance in Halo
Posted By: Kyle Stegerwald<poltava_7@hotmail.com>
Date: 3 October 2004, 4:31 AM
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Parody of Cake's "Going the Distance"
If you've never heard Cake's only real hit, then you're either a) not a fan of alternative rock, or b) brain-dead. (And PS, I plan to continue work on By the Skin of our Teeth)
Reluctantly crouched behind a crumbling rock,
Graphite boiling and coming apart.
The green flash sears by, the soldier hauls,
Flying and diving to save his balls.
He deftly maneuvers and unloads his clip,
Spraying leaden death like wads of spit.
Reckless and wild, the aliens wail,
Their anger is fiery and they cannot fail.
As he speeds through the thicket
His life is saved,
The aliens get up they fire away.
The world is empty, except for one man,
Still driving and striving as fast as he can.
The Pelican has set down and the aliens are gunning
And the hapless soldier's only chance is running,
But he's driving, and striving, and kicking some ass,
And heading for salvation, the long hard path.
He's going the distance, he's going for speed,
He's all alone (all alone!) in his time of need.
Because he's racing, and firing, and dodging the shots,
He's fighting, and reloading, and fleeing the red dots.
He's going the distance.
(electric-guitar and bass jam, with added trumpet for good measure)
No squadmates, no cover, no ammo, no tanks
He is all alone in a desert waste.
Bowel-shaking earthquakes of fear and remorse,
Assail him, impale him with frag-grenade force.
In his mind he's just jogging,
Just out for a stroll,
But he can't ignore the alien bloodthirsty horde.
Because he's racing, and firing, and dodging the shots,
He's fighting and reloading and fleeing the red dots.
The Pelican has set down and the aliens are gunning
And the hapless soldier's only chance is running,
But he's driving, and striving, and kicking some ass,
And heading for salvation, along the long hard path.
He's going the distance, he's going for speed,
He's all alone (all alone!) in his time of need.
Because he's racing, and firing, and dodging the shots,
He's fighting, and reloading, and fleeing the red dots.
Because he's racing, and firing, and dodging the shots,
He's fighting, and reloading, and fleeing the red dots.
He's going the distance.
He's going for... speed!
He's going the distance.
(trumpet, electric guitar, and bass jam for the remainder of the song)
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