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Merick's Journal's Episode 4: John Finds Out That For Every Reaction, There Is An Equal and Opposite
Posted By: John Kitchen<unskathed777@yahoo.com>
Date: 25 November 2003, 12:18 AM
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Journal Date: 5-13-03
Hey, Lizz,
Man, the marriage fell through, and cracked its head on the ground. Turns out she left me for a chick, of all things. Well, all I can say is that I am seriously stumped. I try to push myself up, but I can't.
Hey! Just found out that some loser named John Kitchen has been SPAMing this dude I know, he's also been reading my logs to you, Lizz, then putting them up on some website! This is horse manure!
C ya!
Merick
Journal Date: 5-16-03
Hey John,
That's right; Lizz gave me your address! Hahaha! You want funny material !? Well then come and get it! I just lost my second game of Snipers to a noob. Some Eskimo guy, whose boat ran into our island. He's unGodly good at this game. So, I heard you and Lizz tried to be bf/gf too huh? Yeah, she's a much better friend then she is a gf, to me anyway.
I hope you wet your pants everyday, and I fart in your general direction! Hahaha! Well, streaking is not my cup 'o' tea anymore, now it's mooning. You see, mooning isn't nearly as painful as streaking. When you get shot with a 14mil in the ass, you get an extra shot to run, well as the area, you die.
I hope that my letters to you doesn't interrupt your schoolwork now. I hope you fail Physical Science! Hahaha!
C ya,
Merick
John's letter to Merick
Hey bud,
Listen here, I hate Physical Science, especially since Miss Elder teaches it.
Send me more, John
Journal Date: 5-19-03
Hey,
Hmmm, you play a clever game, well, the first part of my message is:
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Okay, I hope you know that it took me 5 minutes to spell check that big hunk 'o' SPAM! Well, I hope your inbox is flooded! Okay, so it turns out that mooning isn't painful at all, no one really cares. Also enclosed, is a top 10 of why mooning is better than streaking:
1) If you fall down, and don't have a leather cup on, nothing gets torn off.
2) Snipers don't seem to care.
3) If you get shot by a "Rocketeer" then you die, not a get a big, burnt, groin.
4) Everything you've ever known about streaking is totally re-written.
5) There are no groups for it.
6) It doesn't earn you a spot in Red Weekly Times as: "Gayest person in Blood Gulch".
7) You just get called: "The second gayest person in Blood Gulch". Which is a plus.
8) It feels more natural running bare-ass, and then it does running bare-area.
9) I'm not too afraid that I might crap my pants.
10) I can finally see through more than two eyes. (You better not be making fun of my defect!)
Very interesting huh? It's true; I have 7 eyeballs in my butt crack. So what?
Disturbed,
Merick
Journal Date: 6-1-03
Hey Lizz,
Man, that John guy isn't too happy with me. The guys decided to extend the game for 60 more days! This is going to rock! Well, I have one more question, if you work so well together, and we just happened to meet each other, do you think we are destined to be more then friends? Do you think it's a coincidence? Pretty much, yeah.
So, my lovely friend Nicole is going to let me barrow a new CD so I can burn it. No, no, not burn, burn it. Do you get it? You know, I'm gonna burn it...never mind.
Lot's of love,
Merick
Journal Date: 6-3-03
Hey Lizz,
Thank you! Thank you for going back out with me! It feels sooo good, even though I almost married a bisexual, and got beaten by my bagboy, and finally, is obsessed with mooning; maybe you should come out here and flash with me, Hehehe. Well, I hope your life is going hot, I know mine isn't. You see, the Sergeant just came back to respawn, yes that's right, he beat his own record. Obie got his stereo taken away again, this time it was for letting the Blues' get into our base, in exchange for a 3/6 Mafia and Slipknot CD. He is really mad now.
Gotta go calm him down,
Merick
Journal Date 6-6-03
Hey,
I'm so excited, Halo 2 is coming out in a few months now, and the coolest thing is, we get even more decked out looking. I have to admit that new armor is pretty hot looking. Oh, sorry. Well, I really liked it when I could pet your head, and you'd meow, but those days are over. Until I get to see you again. I can drink like a fish now, this one time, I got my blood alcohol level to 4.8, man that is some drunk crap right there. If it was cool to be a fool I'd be hippest guy around; that's what the MC said...
Love,
Merick
Well, loyal fans, I'm sorry to say that the Merick's Journal's Episodes will end at Episode 6. I want to make another fan fiction, which I will. I will also post Merick's Journal's on a website: www.geocites.com/mericksjournals, check there as soon as possible.
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